It's ironic to drive two hours to take your kids to Canobie Lake Park only to arrive and find that the first ride said children want to go on is the Canobie 500 (race cars), and that they are willing to stand in line for a half hour just to (you guessed it) ride in a car again.
We picked up our two new mice at the pet store today.
Even though the clerk asked them to send girl mice, it turned out there were boy mice in the shipment as well.
"I'm 95% sure they aren't pregnant." she said.
As far as I'm concerned those are not reassuring odds.
Cell phones have rendered obsolete an entire genre of music - the telephone angst love song.
You know the type, either the love-sick caller can't reach his intended because she's not answering (Telephone Line, ELO); or the caller muses over his betrothed with the dispatcher, an employee from MA Bell who, though silent, acts the part of the good therapist (Operator, Jim Croce).
Nowadays not only do you not need a third party to connect you, there's little chance you'll get no answer when you call - at the very least you'll get voice mail.
Surely the outcome would have been different had Dr. Hook been able to talk to Sylvia directly instead of merely to her mother, and if that pesky operator wasn't repeatedly requesting nickels (Sylvia's Mother, Dr. Hook & the Medicine Man).
Then there's the peeping Tom of telephone songs, Wichita Lineman. Get off the line already!
Even the Beatles can't always get through (You Won't See Me).
But it's not as if there's no precedence for this in the music world.
Witness: In Your Letter, Take A Letter Maria, Gonna Sit Right Down and Write Myself A Letter, and Please Mr. Postman.
According to the Globe, a North Andover mom "wants to leave the earth a healthy place for her three children. But what good is a thriving planet ... if her kids are forced to live in a home lighted by bulbs that are energy efficient but ruin the look of the dining room chandelier...?"
To spare her kids from poor lighting, the mom is hoarding incandescent bulbs in anticipation of their scheduled "fade out" as it were.
Really? Are you kidding? F*ck the chandelier lady, you've got a planet to save!
What will you tell your three kids 20 years from now? "Sorry about the polar bears kids, but look, I've still got some lightbulbs from 2011. Nice shade of white don't you agree? Almost the same shade as a polar ... Oh never mind."
I know, there are some great reasons for wanting to hang on to traditional bulbs. How will kids spike their temperature on a thermometer in order to stay home sick on test day with only a 15-watt bulb? Whatever will they use to melt wax crayons on? Oh the humanity.
This is why we'll never be able to save the planet. Because even though we want to save the planet - and we really, really, want to save it - we just don't want to be inconvenienced in the process. Not one little you'll-have-to-pry-these-incandescents-from-my-cold-dead-handsbit. And saving the planet will be inconvenient. I guarantee it. First we will have to believe in climate change. We will have to drive less. We will have to commute more. There will be wind turbines to contend with. We will have to be accountable for the garbage we create (pay as you go may be here sooner than compact fluorescents) We will have to actually remember to bring all those reusable canvas bags into the supermarket instead of just smugly keeping them in our car. New Englanders won't be able to eat fresh strawberries in January. We'll need to stop buying yearly new wardrobes full of cheap clothing made in China and wear last years fashions instead.
Luckily, on account of the bad lighting, no one will notice.
Despite the MFA's written appeals and signage admonishing visitors not to take flash photography or video at the museum, people were flashes cameras and shooting video left and right at the Chihuly exhibit today.
Therefore it's no wonder non-members are still taking to the fields in droves at Coonamessett Farm.
Ignoring rules must be the American Way.
song: Teach Your Children • artist: Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young