Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Dream On

I recently finished reading a biography of the artist Salvador Dali who was far and away the Andy Warhol of his day. Or should we say Andy Warhol took his cue from Salvador Dali since the Spanish surrealist came first?
What I don't understand is, if the surrealists painted what they saw in their dreams how come there are no surrealist paintings of students taking of their coats in front of their school lockers only to realize they'd forgotten to get dressed that morning?

song: Dream On • artist: Aerosmith

Monday, July 30, 2012

Non Sequitur of the Day

H: "When I grow up I hope I'll be blind. Then I can get a dog."

Sunday, July 29, 2012


Limeade, lemonade's lesser-known cousin, has been on sale and consequently a new favorite among my kids.
I myself can't help thinking of it as the name of some fund-raising music festival started by Willie Nelson to provide support for the hard-working green citrus growers of this nation.

song: Limelight • Rush

Non Sequitur of the Day

S to N: "When you wake up tomorrow you'll be dead."

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Happiness is ...

blue ribbons at the fair.

a cowboy hat and a pony.


Friday, July 27, 2012

Tom Sawyer

Have I mentioned that following our read-out loud of Tom Sawyer I've been reading Huck Finn to the boys? I'm surprised at how well they can follow the dialect and the plot since it's written in first person from Huck's perspective. There was a chapter C fell asleep in the middle of and when I was telling him what happened, H was correcting me on all the details.
"And he gave all his money to a one-legged guy."
"He had one eye Mommy. Not one leg."
"Oh yeah. The one-eyed guy."
"Then all he had left was a dime but I can't remember what he did with that."
"He gave it to the minister in church Mommy, because the minister said if you give your money to the poor it will come back to you doubled but that didn't happen to Jim."
"Oh yeah. Right."
If you parent boys I would highly recommend Tom and Huck. The books are funny and serious. The only hard part is that unless you want to censor it, you'll find yourself repeating the N word so often you'll feel like you're in Boyz N the Hood. But there's a good discussion to be had in that too.

song: Tom Sawyer • artist: Rush

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Parenting is ...

appreciating a good-looking stick and making room for it in the back of the car.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Sands of Time

Summer means spending all day in your wet bathing suit top.
And that commercial for the Cape and Islands license place that suggests you keep the sand in your shoes all year long with the purchase of a C & I license plate?
As it turns out - having sand in your shoes all day is really annoying.

song: Sands of Time • musical: Kismet

Sunday, July 22, 2012

The Pajama Game

I won't say that I'm morally opposed to pajamas, but the idea that we all need an entirely different wardrobe to sleep in has always kinda stuck in my craw.
I mean isn't Victoria's Secret just that she's overcharging us?
I understand of course that we don't want to sleep in our dirty clothes, but what about a xx-large t-shirt? Some long johns?
It's dangerous I think, to wear pajamas that are too cute and comfortable. You might linger in them through breakfast. You might then think it's okay to run to the P.O. or grab a quick cup of Joe in them - no one's really going to see you right?
But where does it all lead? Once you're comfortable in jammies at the bus stop, why not at the teacher conference? Why not at parent pick up?
Pretty soon it's dinner and you're still dressed in your pjs. You've now blurred the lines between awake and asleep as if your life is just one long lucid dream not to mention what you're doing to polite society. Pretty soon we'll be flossing our teeth at our work stations and clipping our toe nails in the break room.
I was an xx-large t-shirt gal until I had kids and thought my children might be traumatized if their mom didn't wear pajamas. Lord knows I was traumatized in my youth by my dad's lack of good pajama coverage. So in addition to a few mismatched tops and bottoms from the second-hand shop, I cashed in some LL Bean bucks and invested in official summer and winter sets.
However, in light of my zen practice, I've recently come to view pajamas in a different night light. Pajamas - or at least the act of changing into them signifies the transition from daytime to nighttime (assuming you do in fact change out of them in the morning).

musical: The Pajama Game • artists: Adler and Ross

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Already Gone

H is mad at me because a half-dozen moths have drowned in the dish of water I keep in on the floor my room to submerge stray fleas in.
I said I was sorry but really - can I help it if moths have become collateral damage in my war on fleas?
Is it my fault moths are stupid?
None of the other insect species currently residing in my house (and there are lots) have succumb to the lure of the water bowl.
Good thing he doesn't know about the moth I accidentally sucked up in the vacuum cleaner this morning.

song: Already Gone • artist: the Eagles

Friday, July 20, 2012

Dirty Old Town

Entering something in the youth exhibit at the county fair was kind of a requirement at our house this year so C and I went down the list looking for a category we could pull something together in quickly. Entering was a requirement you see but planning ahead not so much.
Anyway, we found a category titled "10 Things that Do Not Belong on the Beach."
"Easy," we agreed.
"We could go down to Old Silver around 6 or 7 PM." I suggested.
"I bet we could find ten things in ten minutes!"
Alas we were wrong.
We found ten things in less than two minutes.
At the end of the day Old Silver was disgusting. There was trash everywhere and what's worse - there were people still on the beach, plenty of them, all navigating their way around the trash to get down to the water.
Ugh. Who cleans that up? The lifeguards? The DPW? I assume a fleet of someones are out there at 6AM before the beach opens (no wonder we have to close the beaches it at night), no way I'd pay $20 to park there and sun myself among the remains of someone's upturned trash can.
Here are some of our shots from the night. I have to assume every night is more of the same. We did not photograph the dirty diaper, the cigarette butt, or the used prophylactic (technically that was in the beach parking lot).

song: Dirty Old Town • artist: the Pogues

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Hot, Hot, Hot II

It's so hot in my house the cat's been sleeping in the bathtub.
It's so hot at the beach I can't tell if I'm rubbing sunscreen on my arms or just pushing sweat around.
It's so hot I let C, H, and a friend play on the computer for an unprecedented 90 minutes yesterday because I was too hot to redirect them or chase them outside.

song: Hot, Hot, Hot • artist: Buster Poindexter

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Hot Hot Hot

It was like the cranky mommy olympics at the beach this morning.
I might have been a contender but thankfully I didn't bring home the gold.
Here are some direct quotes from the medal winners:
"No! I will not dig a hole with you. I'm going in the water, just sit on that blanket."
"Of course your hands are sandy, it's the beach! Guess you're not getting any peanut-butter crackers then."
"Get your damn shoes and come in from the raft right now or I'll come out and get you and I promise you'll be embarrassed!"

song: Hot Hot Hot • artist: Buster Poindexter

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Round Here

The e-mail subject line from Parenting said, "50+ Solutions for When Kids Are Bored."
When I opened the link it said "22 Boredom-Busting Games."
Since when is 22 the new 50?
While I was counting the subheads (to make sure there really were 22) a pop-up window announced "25+ iPhone Apps Kids Love."
Yeah Right.

song: Round Here • artist: Counting Crows

Monday, July 16, 2012

Don't Bring Me Down

I've been trying harder to read other people's blogs which is difficult because I haven't often the time nor the inclination. Back when I had the chance I didn't much want to network in real time so now I don't much want to network on line.
But everyone likes comments and it take 'em to get 'em so I tried and the other day I noticed a mom-to-be posting about her pregnancy and she was vague but the post went something along the line of an apology and then the observation that she didn't want to be negative but sometimes things were hard.
It seemed weird to see her apologizing for posting something negative. She'd hardly said anything at all that really was negative - just slightly less than rosy.
I'm always being negative and using black humor, heck even my blog is black. Most mommy blogs contain polka-dot backgrounds and pastel colors and are more vibrant in appearance than my background which I suppose I could easily change except that I like black. I like stark. I don't want to offend either but I don't want to apologize for not appearing constantly Pollyannaish (does anyone even get references to Pollyanna any more?) I guess I don't have to worry, I mean I did after all call my blog The Mommy Rant, not Happy Mommy Musings or Up Up With Motherhood.
Which isn't to say it's never fun. It was fun yesterday putting on the play behind the couch and it was fun today laughing with C over our purchases at Windfall Market.

song: Don't Bring Me Down • artist: Electric Light Orchestra

Sunday, July 15, 2012


Guess who wore a costume for the performance on the final day of Circus Skills camp?

song: Bears • artist: Lyle Lovett

Friday, July 13, 2012

Demolition Man

The police were out in force with lights blazing this AM investigating three downed mailboxes on Route 28A.
High crime in West Falmouth.

song: Demolition Man • artist: The Police

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Send in the Clowns

C is over half way though Circus Skills camp and still he can't juggle!
When confronted, his defense was weak.
"But mom, I'm a lot better at the diabolo."
"The diabolo! Who cares about the diabolo? No one even knows what that is! What about me? What about my dream? My dream to have a son who juggles?"

song: Send in the Clowns • artist: Stephen Sondheim

Wednesday, July 11, 2012


OMG! Street fair traffic!
Haven't any of these people heard of Etsy?

song: Gridlock • artist: Warren Zevon

Down Under

At Mt. Cardigan we learned that the bottom layer of the forest - the opposite of the canopy if you will - is called litter.
I assume it was called litter before the advent of what we normally think of when we think of litter.
That means that it's entirely possible and probably likely that there are places in the woods where the litter is covered with litter.

song: Down Under • artist: Men at Work

Bark at the Moon

It's 11:50PM and every dog in the neighborhood is barking along with a few others over in Pine Bay. Must be the twilight bark a few hours late.

song: Bark at the Moon • artist: Ozzy Osbourne

Monday, July 09, 2012

Get Together

So, there are fleas on the floor of the house and spider webs in every corner.
How can we get these two together?

song: Get Together • artist: the Youngbloods

Saturday, July 07, 2012

Cheap Sunglasses

song: Cheap Sunglasses • artist: ZZ Top

Friday, July 06, 2012

Parenting is …

Explaining that ABC gum belongs in the trash can, not behind the couch.
Because I guess that needs explaining.

Thursday, July 05, 2012

Fat Man in the Bathtub

The good news is that the prospect of giving the cat a flea bath was interesting enough to lure my children away from the computer after their allotted 20 minutes without the usual nagging and threats.
The bad news is the cat needed a flea bath.

song: Fat Man in the Bathtub • artist: Little Feat

Wednesday, July 04, 2012

Born in the USA

So I made these t-shirts for the boys to wear to the fireworks.
Note the British flag on C's shirt. He's practicing being ironic in preparation for his teen years.
I was busy so I asked Ken to line them up and take a picture.
This is what he took.
What the heck's ASU??

song: Born in the USA • artist: Bruce Springsteen

Tuesday, July 03, 2012

Ferry Cross the Mersey

File this one under bad tourist etiquette although I have no way of proving these folks aren't just townies like me except that I didn't actually recognize any of them.
What's up with riders and walkers on the bike path who, when they come to a road intersection, Old Dock Road, for example, wave across drivers who have come to a stop in front of the crosswalk.
I can't understand this at all. Do these people think they are doing me a favor? I'm stopped already, you might as well cross.
It's as if I were holding the door open for someone, who, when they got up to the door, suddenly decided they weren't going out after all.
This doesn't happen when two cars meet. Imagine two drivers were approaching an intersection and one was looking to make a left-hand turn and the other was going straight through. If the going straight driver were to slow down and wave the left turning driver into the intersection, the left turning driver wouldn't carelessly shake his head, smile, and wave the other driver on. Heck no! He would make that turn and be darn happy someone slowed down for him at all. This is Massachusetts after all; he could still be waiting in that intersection two days later.
Ken says I'm making a big deal out of nothing but let me just say - this doesn't happen to me every once in a while, it happens on a regular basis; almost every time I cross the bike path. Sometimes it happens more than once a day.
Ken says these walkers and bikers are probably waiting for other members of their party to catch up with them but I say that they can't be because they aren't back and off to the side of the intersection like any sane person who was waiting for friends, family, or the moss to grow.
Besides, there's a big sign in the middle of the crosswalk informing drivers that they must stop for pedestrians in the crosswalk. If we have to stop - then they have to cross.
Personally I take it as something of an insult. "What? My stop wasn't good enough for you? You're waiting for a better stop to come along? A Volvo or a Prius perhaps? What if the presidential motorcade stopped? Would you cross then?
The whole thing reminds me of the story of the boy who cried wolf.
And we all know how well that turned out.

song: Ferry Cross the Mersey • artist: Gerry and the Pacemakers

Monday, July 02, 2012

The Stroke

Sad at having forgotten their swim diapers...

song: The Stroke • artist: Billy Squire

Sunday, July 01, 2012

Kiss That Frog

song: Kiss that Frog • artist: Peter Gabriel

Don't Think Twice

H lost a tooth while we were in NH. He put it under his pillow at the lodge and the tooth fairy brought him $5 but didn't take the tooth.
"Must be so you can bring it home and show daddy," I offered.
He agreed with my reasoning and added that now he could put his tooth under his pillow at home and reap another $5.
How dumb does he think the tooth fairy is?

song: Don't Think Twice (It's Alright) • artist: Bob Dylan