The Mommy Rant

The true adventures of Mostly-Stay-At-Home-Mommy

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

The Company Way

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The bright side of your kid wetting the bed two nights in a row? The laundromat's tv airing "How to Succeed in Business Without Re...
Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Walk This Way

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Missing the afternoon bus and having to drive into the school and sheepishly collect your kids from after school care: The Parental Walk of ...
Sunday, October 25, 2015

Touch Me

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setting: supermarket produce aisle C: "Why do you have to pick up each bean one at a time? Can't you just grab a handful? me: ...
Saturday, October 24, 2015

Can't Find My Way Home

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There was a small lost child at the middle school monster bash tonight. A helpful adult approach him and asked him who he'd come to the...
Wednesday, October 14, 2015

One is the Loneliest Number

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Don't you always feel sorry for the one sock out of the pair that doesn't have a hole in it? It usually gets thrown out with its ma...
Sunday, October 04, 2015

I Won't Grow Up

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H: "Mommy, you know how in Peter Pan the kids all live in Never, Never Land where they don't have to grow up? I think the opposite ...
2 comments:
Saturday, October 03, 2015

Crash Into Me

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me: "I know it's hard when you're not feeling well but if you have to throw up in bed, it's better if you just throw up in ...

The Tattooed Lady and the Alligator Man

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Note to new parents, one day your child will enter the Guinness Book of World Records stage. Yes, this is a real stage, mark the section in ...
Saturday, September 26, 2015

Toothless Smile

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S lost a tooth today. That's three teeth in less than a month, which would be alarming if he was 77 and not 7. song: Toothless Smile •...
Thursday, September 24, 2015

It's a Man's World

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Why do they call it Scrub Daddy? Everyone knows that it's Mommies who do all the cleaning. Guess the manufacturer is trying to appe...
1 comment:
Monday, September 21, 2015

Parenting is...

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letting a huge moth in the house at the same time you're sweeping out the spider.
Saturday, September 05, 2015

Crazy in the Night

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It used to be that the town crazies biked around town and talked to themselves. Loudly. Nowadays the town crazies bike around town talking ...
Thursday, September 03, 2015

Bodhisattva

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So lately I've been writing down the titles to parenting books that look interesting, because pretty soon my kids will be back in schoo...
Thursday, August 20, 2015

Girlfriend

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Things you don't want to hear from the backseat when you're driving the car. H: Mommy, there are a lot of fruit flies back here. ...
Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Stuck in the Middle with You

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Apologies to my youngest (by five minutes) child whose life I have apparently ruined by suggesting he sit in the middle row of the mini van....
Saturday, July 11, 2015

If I Had a Million Dollars

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It's a shame we all can't live our lives with the optimism of children who pick up lottery tickets in parking lots because maybe, j...
Friday, July 10, 2015

Slip Sliding Away

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They say that you're supposed to apply sunscreen a half hour before you go out in the sun but what they don't tell you is that if yo...
Thursday, July 02, 2015

After Midnight

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Now that it's summer I can set the alarm for 7:15 rather than 7 AM. And folks, that's the difference between summer and winter - 15...
1 comment:
Friday, June 26, 2015

Polk Salad Annie

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Salad of the Day sounds good. Salad of the Month sounds - less good. song: Polk Salad Annie • artist Tony Joe White
1 comment:
Friday, June 12, 2015

Do You Know Where You're Going To? (Theme from Mahogany)

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Does Your Mother Know (ABBA) Your Mother Should Know (the Beatles) I love it when to songs talk to each other. And I couldn't agree m...
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