Parenting is ...

when living on the edge means maxing out your library card.

Fifty books, baby!

Green Grass and High Tides

Up until today I thought this song was "Green Grass and High Times Forever." Thanks Sirius for clearing that up. It should be Green Grass and High Times Forever, I mean look, it's even by The Outlaws.
Just for the record, I never thought it was Dirty Deeds and the Thunder Chief.

song: Green Grass and High Tides • artist: The Outlaws

You Spin Me Round

YES!
Spirograph is back! I loved, loved, loved Spirograph when I was a kid. Spent hours with it and hours later on doodling in spirograph-fashion in all my high school notebooks.
Spirograph and Colorforms. Two of the best open-ended toys ever created. So great I might even be able to overlook the plastic and vinyl that they're made out of.
The question is - do I buy it for my kids or cut out the pretense and just buy a set for myself?

song: You Spin Me Round • artist: Dead or Alive

What's Your Name?

You'd have thought J.R.R. Tolkein would have had the foresight not to give two of his evil characters names that have a difference of only two letters.
Saruman and Sauron - how's a kid (and his mom) supposed to keep them straight?

song: What's Your Name? • artist: Lynyrd Skynyrd

Let it Grow

An Earth Day message from S & N.

song: Let it Grow • artist: Eric Clapton

Parenting is…

Accepting a fistful of dandelions with the same enthusiasm you would a bouquet of roses.

Hot Stuff

Things I forgot to pack:

the corkscrew

the cribbage board

the alarm clock

the umbrellas 

None of these omissions mattered too much. Well the corkscrew might have been a problem but we were able to borrow one. 

I always feel a bit like a player in the George Carlin riff "A Place for my Stuff" when I set my alarm clock, lip gloss, and hair barrette on the hotel-room or condo night stand. The part where he talks about going away on vacation but being okay with it because you still have "some of your stuff."

I thought too that with internet radio we could listen to WMVY even though we're 300 miles away from the Vineyard. But what's the point of traveling if every thing's just going to be familiar when you get there?

song: Hot Stuff • artist: Donna Summer

Thank You

First I'd like to thank the toll booth guy who walked over and gave me a ticket from his booth after I accidentally pulled up to an E-Z Pass booth while getting onto the New York State Thruway. 

Then I'd like to thank the two cars in line behind me - presumably legitimate E-Z Pass holders - who didn't honk their horns at me and curse at me.

song: Thank You • artist: Led Zeppelin

Run Runaway

The thing I love about a road race is that it's the only sporting event I know of where everyday competitors compete in the same event with world-class and olympic athletes. 
You or I can't compete in a swimming race with Michael Phelps, ski with Bode Miller, or golf against Tiger Woods. And not because those athletes are too stuck up to compete with the masses - their sports just aren't set up that way.
But running is different. A marathon is comprised of runners who will finish in 2 hours and 50 minutes as well as runners who will finish in 5 hours and 20 minutes and everyone in-between. 
Slower runners and older runners aren't relegated to another race. 
There may be categories within the race and there may by staggered starts. There may be 20,000 runners between you and Lelisa Desisa Benti but ultimately you and he are both in the same race.
It's the same for spectators. You can see some of the best runners in the world stream by only a few feet away as you stand along the edge of the road holding an encouraging sign and cheering for a college roommate, spouse, or track club friends.
If it's sweltering hot. The lead runners and sweltering hot too. If it's raining, everyone's getting wet.
Road racing is the most democratic of all sporting events. There's an openness to it that other sports competitions lack.
As with life, there's a real "we're all in this together" attitude that makes road racing special.

song: Run Runaway • artist: Slade

At Seventeen

So I hear the cicadas are making a return this year.
Cicada mania they called it on the radio.
I thought cicadas were every 17 years? Excuse me but it's only been 5 years since we last had cicadas and I can prove it because I blogged about it.  And this is a photo taken at Tony Andrews when were strawberry picking in 2008.
So to paraphrase Monty Python. That was never 17 years.


song: At Seventeen • artist: Janis Ian

Share the Land

There were these two moms on the playground (and me) yesterday and one mom was telling the other how she'd chastised these parents on the beach last summer because the other parents' children didn't want her two-year-old son to join them in their sandcastle building."I told them they ought to teach their kids to share and that it was a public beach after all. I was just furious." She was furious too. I could hear how furious she was because I could hear her conversation perfectly clearly from well across the playground. But aside from being loud, was she right? Are other kids obliged to share the activity they are engaged in with anyone who asks to join? This sort of rule does apply at the elementary school level where at recess students can't exclude from their game other kids who want to join. Without making the focus of this post the school's rule let me just say I can see why the rule is in place and I have heard first-hand from my son about the rule's shortcomings, mainly that other kids want to join a game but not abide by the rules that the organizers of the game have already laid down, thus causing the game to fall apart. But back to the beach. I don't know the specifics of the incident such as how old the other kids were, did the little boy ask to join, or did his mom ask, and was he politely or rudely refused. Personally I think it's okay for a child to ask and another child to decline provided it's done politely. This is how things work at the preschool my twins attend. If you ask to join in with a child or children who are working on a puzzle, building a tower, or engaging in some other type of Montessori-established "work," the child who already has the work out can either say yes or "I'm working alone right now but you can have the blocks when I'm finished. "This would probably not work so well on a beach where children are unlikely to say "you can have our sandcastle when we're done with it," but as already noted by furious mom it was a public beach meaning surely there was enough sand to go around and anyone who wanted to could have built their own castle. Ecclesiastes should have included a verse on a time to share and a time to hoard. My kids know that at the library they have to share the toys because the toys there are the communal property of the library but I don't think kids should be forced to share - at all times - with anyone who asks. Isn't that likely to result in them resenting the whole idea of sharing? I especially don't think an older child should be forced, every time, to share a work in progress with a younger child who may inadvertently wreck it as in the case of the sandcastle and who knows maybe those two kids have younger siblings who weren't at the beach that day meaning this was one of the few days they could build an elaborate castle without the interference of a younger brother or sister. I know it's hard to see your child rejected by other kids. Believe me, I've seen my kids get the brush off, but generally speaking kids are more resilient than we give them credit for at least that's what I observe in my own children. Life isn't always going to hand you yeses, you've got to take the occasional no as well because it is only from a no that we'll learn to build our own sandcastles.

song: Share the Land • artist: The Guess Who

Chocolate Cake

"You can't have your cake and eat it too."
What kind of stupid expression is that?
Why would you bother having some cake at all if you couldn't eat it?
Who makes this stuff up?
Don't get me wrong, I understand what the expression means, it's just that the cake analogy makes no sense. If you're a 10-year-old boy it means you can't sleep over your friend's house and expect your mom to clean your mouse cage while your gone. 

song: Chocolate Cake • artist: Crowded House

Give It Up

A few posts back I wrote about the Starbuck's patron who paid for his latte by flashing his cell phone at the cashier. I believe there comes a time when a person has to just throw up their hands and say "I give up!" I cannot, will not, shall not learn how to use another piece of technology or participate in another type of social media. 
I won't tweet, tumblr, pin, linksy, Skype, facetime or vblog. 
How much social networking do we need anyway? 
Sure, I've had people ask me if I use Pinterest - "you'd love it," they say, "it's got all kind of great craft ideas." And no doubt it has and it's flattering that there are still some people who think I'm capable of keeping on top of this stuff but honestly I've got all kind of half-finished craft projects going on why would I want to spend time looking at more stuff?
And that's not to mention keeping the technology you already have up to date with new operating systems and new releases and updates to iTunes every other day. There are new phones, new interfaces, new computers, pads and pods.
I could see it if I  thought it was useful and necessary and I suppose to some people it is necessary. But not to me.
So I officially surrender. I step off the hamster wheel (or mouse wheel if you're at our house). I'm willing to read about, but not test drive, what comes next. I didn't think I'd label myself obsolete at 45 years old but there you go - life is full of surprises.
But for the record I did have one of the very first Macs. Way back in the mid 1980s - I had a Mac. 
I just want my kids to know that at one time their mom was cutting edge.

song: Give It Up • artist: Hothouse Flowers

White Rabbit

The Easter bunny is a tough sell. 
Can anyone really explain the Easter Bunny?
At least Santa's human.
Here's what we learned this Easter. If the Easter bunny leaves eggs filled with chocolates in our yard late in the evening on the night before the holiday - there's a good chance some hungry animal, a raccoon me thinks, will maul a few of the eggs, eat the chocolates and leave our kids just the wrappers.Another important thing to remember is that when you call the Easter bunny on the telephone, don't hand the phone off to your children before you check and make sure it really is the Easter bunny - and not just some poor confused woman on the other end.

song: White Rabbit • artist: Jefferson Airplane

Hold Me Now

song: Hold Me Now • artist: Thompson Twins

Maggie's Farm

I'd like to lump Coonamessett Farm in with the Farmers Market vendors and implore you all to support them as well. I've heard the arguments as far as the farm is concerned. Why go there for blueberries in July when you can get them at the supermarket - and for less money!
It's hard to know where to begin with this argument. As I see it - it's a no brainer. Anything picked at the farm just plain tastes better. Much better. I can get tomatoes in January but what's the point when they taste like cr*p? Ditto for strawberries, melons, rock-hard peaches - you name it. Fruits and vegetables should be consumed in their proper seasons. We should gorge ourselves on watermelon and corn on the cob in summer until we are sick to death of them knowing that it will be nine or ten months before they'll be coming around again. There's a reason they call it summer squash.
And now for the less money argument. Yes. It it more expensive than the supermarket. That's because it's better than the supermarket. We can all understand that when you buy something handmade or handcrafted it's more expensive than the same product mass produced. We understand it in everything except for food that is. These strawberries were grown by the guy around the corner with no middle man - why can't he sell it cheaper than the companies that ship vegetables to the chain shops? Well for one thing your neighbor likely isn't getting any farm subsidies - the farm bill mostly supports big agriculture. Your local farmer produces less, owns less land, and employs growing practices that cost more money. But forget all that for a moment and think of this. We're talking about the food you eat. The food your family eats. What could be more important? What could be worth paying a bit more for if you can afford it?
I've also heard people say they aren't renewing their farm membership because their children are too old to want to go there anymore and feed the chickens; as if farms (like super sugary breakfast cereals) are only for kids.
To that argument I say - what are there organizations you support? Audubon? The Humane Society? The Appalachian Mountain Club? Do you reap all the benefits of your membership? 
We belong to Mass Audubon which means we're entitled to waived entrance fees at all the Massachusetts Audubon sanctuaries. If I'm on my game we might visit one or two sanctuaries per year which doesn't cover the cost of membership. My membership to the AMC entitles me to discounted lodge stays. We manage one weekend per year at an AMC lodge and while I love staying there, the discount is not equal to the amount we pay for a yearly membership. And yet I still reup these memberships. What's more, I donate to my local NPR station knowing that my only perk is that my local NPR station (hopefully) will not go anywhere. Anywhere like away that is. It's my hope that Coonamessett Farm likewise does not go away. If that's your hope I would entreat you to renew your farm membership, regardless of whether or not you think you'll visit the farm enough times to justify the cost. Here's how I see it. Would you rather support Coonamessett Farm with a yearly membership or drive down Hatchville Road years from now and pass the Coonamessett Farm Condominium Development? Besides, if you join - it might encourage you to visit more often, which will be good for everyone.

song: Maggie's Farm • artist: Bob Dylan

Main Street

It's harder to write about the things you really care about than the things that come from off the cuff. And not because you fear rejection or because you are afraid of being judged. It's harder because you don't know where to begin.

Starting off with a topic that you don't know about or aren't invested in puts you at a level playing field with most everyone else. Starting off with a topic that you do know something about or that you're passionate about requires that you realize others don't know or don't care about said topic with as much feeling as you do which is hard, because when you love something it's difficult to understand why everyone else doesn't feel the same way. 

Our town's main street merchants have complained about traffic congestion caused by the farmers market that's held weekly from May through October in the small park kitty-corner to the library.

Their objection is that the traffic and lack of parking deters would-be shoppers.

I contest that the farmers market is the only thing that draws me to Main Street Falmouth during the summer season and while it was difficult when the twins were younger to find parking and ferry the boys from the parking lot to the market, it's easier now that they are older.

If I can make the effort to navigate the traffic, find parking at an off-site location, and walk my four children from where I parked the car to where the market takes place - because I have a vested interest in going to the market every week - then I believe the people who want to come to Main Street, to shop, to have their hair styled, or to eat lunch will be equally likely to persevere in order to reach their final destination.

The farmers market doesn't compete with the merchants. There are no grocery stores on main street. Instead the market creates and invites community, invites people to slow down, perhaps even stop and talk to each other or listen to the occasional live music. The market appeals to all our senses: sight, sound, smell, touch and taste; and thereby awakens us to our surroundings. Instead of rushing past on our way from point A to point B the market encourages us to slow down and take a look around. Might we not, after slowing down, notice a new store front or an enticing sandwich board and take the time to investigate?

The farmers market reminds us that shopping can be a warm, interactive venture and not just something impersonal done with the click of a button via a computer at 11 o'clock at night. Might this revelation not benefit the shop owner as well as the farmer?

In the musical Oklahoma Aunt Eller implores the farmer and the cowboy to be friends. Today it's the farmer and the store owner. 

I'm sure there's a way for both to coexist and even to mutually benefit of the other.

song: Main Street • artist: Bob Seger

Parenting is ...

resisting the urge to stand under the hot shower - all day.

Parenting is ...

telling your sons they can't eat in the bathroom, because "food and poop don't mix."

Brave New World II

If you don't know what bathroom talk is then you've never parented young boys.

I was explaining to S & N the other day that they would be sent to the principal's office if they used bathroom talk when they were in kindergarten.

They in turn asked me if the principal had a gun - or a sword.

I said that the NRA is working on it but that she doesn't have one yet.

Not yet.

book: Brave New World • author: Aldous Huxley