Forever in Blue Jeans

Lately there's been a range of reactions to the size of my stomach, everything from "you look great! Are those even maternity jeans?" to "boy, you're getting big, you must really be tired."
The answer is of course they are maternity jeans, are you high? I have finally been forced to embrace the jeans I bought when I was pregnant with H and never wore. I disliked them because they have a mini-bell bottom-type cut. What's that for, enormous swollen ankles? They are also at least five inches too long despite being a size small. This means only one thing, that tall skinny women are the only people who should be getting pregnant. But, it was either roll up the jeans and wear them or have only one pair of wearable pants, which would mean having to go around naked on wash day.
The best reaction to my "condition" was the complete lack of any reaction by the salesman at the Plymouth Winery. I stopped in for wine to go with Thanksgiving dinner and he asked me not once but twice if I wanted to sample the wines I was purchasing. This means either, a) he wasn't paying attention at all, or b) he's been burned in the past and now refuses to assume a woman is pregnant until she shows up at the shop with an actual baby.

song: Forever in Blue Jeans • artist: Neil Diamond