Monday, September 29, 2014

Killing Me Softly

Friday I broke open the box of chocolates my friend Christine brought me from the Czech Republic this summer in order to counter the effects of having biked 10 miles to (and from) school with my kids.
If sh*t falling out of the freezer onto my feet doesn't kill me, my kids will.

song: Killing Me Softly • artist: Roberta Flack

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Sky High

We've been playing a lot of Clue at our house.
So much so that today while driving I swear I saw a cloud that looked like the wrench.
It was done by Hercules, in the Elysian Fields, with the Wrench.
But seriously. It was done by Mrs. White. The overworked maid.
And who can blame her?

song: Sky High • artist: Jigsaw

Monday, September 22, 2014

Stay (Just a Little Bit Longer)

How bleak things must be in Afghanistan if visiting the Cape Cod Mall was enough to make three Afghan soldiers want to defect.
The Cape Cod Mall usually makes me want to leave the country. Or at the very least run away screaming.
It's not as if there were at the Grand Canyon or Yellowstone or Las Vegas or something.
I mean at least Robin William's character in "Moscow on the Hudson" was in Bloomingdales.

song: Stay (Just a Little Bit Longer) • artist: Jackson Browne

Thursday, September 18, 2014

One Foot in the Gutter

If I had a $1 for every time I whispered "shut the f*ck up," under my breath to my kids I'd be able to put the little f*ckers through college.

song: One Foot in the Gutter • artist: Jonny Two Bags

Monday, September 15, 2014

U Get Me High

Sometimes I pour my leftover wine into the watering can before I water the houseplants.
I figure if I'm going to kill them slow they might as well be inebriated.
Maybe I could procure some medical marijuana for them too.
Although - if a plant were to smoke pot - wouldn't that make it a cannibal? Or at least a cannabisibal?

song: U Get Me High • artist: Tom Petty

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Ghost in the Machine

The blender turned itself on last night at 11:15PM. Which, if that's not par for the course for your blender, is quite freaky and more than a little disturbing.
My appliances are possessed.

album: Ghost in the Machine • artist: the Police

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Hit The Road Jack

S traded his new musket-ball bracelet that we bought at the Bunker Hill Historical Museum last weekend for Pokémon cards on the bus yesterday.
It's like Jack and the freakin' Beanstalk around our house.

song: Hit the Road Jack • artist: Ray Charles