Monday, November 24, 2014

Back Where We Started

S and N are the most modest six year olds I've ever met. Prior to turning six they were the most modest five year olds I'd ever met.
At the beach they'd want me to close all the doors to the mini van so they could change in the car without anyone seeing them. I'd have to wrangle a compromise (so they wouldn't suffocate) by hanging towels across the open doors.
Now they don't even want the other to see them changing. Ironic because, as identical twins, they already know what the other looks like naked. 
Subsequently there's this whole song and dance routine we have to go through every morning where one of them has to cajole the other into closing his eyes or putting his head under the covers while the other changes. The threat is that if they look, the other will then go and change in the bathroom, which for some reason is unacceptable to the twin who's not getting dressed. Let's just say it's quite the ordeal.
This morning I finally got S dressed. N was still asleep so you'd think it would have been easy but there was a lot of "what ifs" as in "what if he wakes up?" "what if he's only pretending to be asleep?"
In the end we couldn't chance it so we changed in the bathroom.
By the time I had N awake and in the process of getting dressed S was back upstairs having spilled a bowl of cereal in his lap and we had to start all over again.

song: Back Where We Started • artist: The Kinks

Saturday, November 22, 2014

The Christmas Song

S & N rediscovered the holiday tunes on the iPad.
The Chipmunk Christmas Song hasn't lost its appeal.

song: The Christmas Song • artist: Alvin and the Chipmunks

Friday, November 21, 2014

With or Without You

I left my phone and my "to do" list (notebook actually) at home yesterday.
After work I just drove around aimlessly and unconnected. I couldn't see what people had for dinner last night, there were no cute pictures of puppies and horses, nothing humorous or poignant from George Takei, no "I f*cking love science," reports. It was just me, adrift and alone.
It was refreshing.
Except for not having my "to do" list.
That was a bitch.

song: With or Without You • artist: U2

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

One Week

National Education Week was November 10-13. 
Apparently someone in Washington doesn't know how many days there are in a week.

song: One Week • artist Barenaked Ladies

Telephone Line

C knocked my glass of wine off the dining room table last night and then N dropped a book on top of my cup of tea.
My self-imposed liquid diet is not going well.
Today I found it both ironic and appropriate that the on hold music (thank you for calling SCRIP, there are 12 callers ahead of you!) was ELO's Telephone Line.

song: Telephone Line • artist: Electric Light Orchestra

Monday, November 17, 2014

Let 'Em In

I hate that awkward Sienfeld moment when you're leaving the elementary school and there's some parent waiting to be buzzed in and you want to do the polite thing and hold the door but they don't have clearance from the office to enter yet; and even though they look vaguely familiar you don't know if that's because their child was in the same 3rd grade class as yours or if it was their mug being forwarded around on FB last night under the header "level 3 sex offended moves into the school district."

song: Let 'Em In • artist: Paul McCartney and Wings

Warm Love

All Flashdance jokes aside (you know I never actually saw that movie), the leg warmer is, in my opinion, the most under appreciated and valuable article of clothing ever. Well maybe it's number two to a warm hat, but it's way up there on the list.
People ask me why I wear skirts every day and if I ever wear pants. The answer is this: have you ever seen me on a bike? Yes. Of course I wear pants. I just don't like to, that's all.
And with the addition of leg warmers and some clever layering, knowledge leftover from my figure skating days, I rarely have to don my long pants (I am even less likely to be caught in shorts).
The truth is - skirts (and dresses) are way more comfortable than pants and with pants, unless you're wearing sweatpants (and you know how I feel about sweatpants) you can't comfortably wear much underneath if it's cold out. Skirts give you lots more flexibility in the layering department. Footless tights (love 'em), warm socks, and you're good to go. Leg warmers complete the ensemble if it's really cold and your exposed calves (I am of the age where skirt lengths are always below the knee) need a little extra TLC. Leg warmers are like comfy sweater sleeves for your legs. So cozy!
Where 1980s leg warmers got it wrong was that they were marketed as a gym accessory which made no sense whatsoever. In an exercise situation they're hot and uncomfortable and don't stay up when you're jumping around, so you end up looking ridiculous with them puddled around your feet like self-inflicted cankels. In the 80s I didn't even own a pair. Instead I had these two knit unitards that were like full body leg warmers, super toasty but a bitch when you had to go to the bathroom.
So, laugh if you like, but if were up to me I'd single handedly bring them back into style. Long live the leg warmer!

song: Warm Love • artist: Van Morrison

Saturday, November 15, 2014

Christmas Wrapping

Here's how I know I'm getting old.
I'd rather drink a cup of tea before bed than a glass of wine.
I still need a glass of wine for when the kids get home from school, but at bedtime? A cuppa please. And it's a wimpy decaffinated chamomile tea too.
I've also started calling salespeople who are obviously 20 years younger than me, hun. As in, "thanks hun" and "Have a nice day, hun" and "no plastic bag, hun, I brought my own."
Not only am I turning into an old person, I'm turing into an old waitress.

song: Christmas Wrapping • artist: The Waitresses

Friday, November 14, 2014

Back in Black

It warmed up yesterday while I was walking in the woods with a friend so I took off my black vest and then my black sweatshirt (I put the vest back on). I could have continued and then taken off my black long sleeve T, but I would have had to stop short of removing my black tank top.
I was like my own goth version of The 500 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins.

song: Back in Black • artist: AD/DC

Hungry Like the Wolf

So I picked a seed (pumpkin) out of my pumpkin bread the other day - but I figure that's a good thing.
Speaking of eating, C's been chowing down non stop lately. I think I might have to write a note to his teacher explaining how he couldn't finish his homework because he spent the first two hours after school snacking, another hour in the bathroom, and then it was time for dinner.
And whenever we drive anywhere in the car he's got to bring a snack along because heaven knows he might stave to death in the eight minutes it take us to drive to town.
He brings snacks out to the car, but the snacks never make it back inside the house. Presently there's a can of peanuts and a bag of corn chips in the passenger seat corroborating this story.
If it goes on much longer we might have to start having dinner in the car since that's were all the food will be anyway.

song: Hungry Like the Wolf • artist: Duran Duran