Saturday, March 29, 2014

Parenting is...

never having enough AA batteries in your house or enough napkins in restaurants.

Friday, March 21, 2014

Good Luck Charm

Holy cow, what's the deal with St. Patrick's Day? The school's have boosted this holiday, which has less pull than Columbus Day I mean there's no three day weekend involved, to legendary status. I suspect it's because it's a holiday, despite the word saint in it's title, that doesn't offend anyone. Who can be offended by little green men, pots of gold and a song about unicorns that was written by a jewish guy from Chicago (Shel Silverstein)? Me that's who.
S & N woke up Monday morning and their first words were "Guess what? It's St. Patrick's Day!" I know they said this because they were both sleeping in my bed. Which means I had to spend half the day preparing for a pseudo holiday on top of not getting enough sleep.
They were so excited and all I could think was, "nothing happens on St. Patrick's Day guys, it's not a real holiday. You're not even Irish." 
Okay fine. You wear green to school. But that's it. And even that was totally overdone in the school. I tell you the twin's entire kindergarten class was a sea of green. I couldn't recognize kids whose names I know because they all looked the same. There were green beads and green buttons. S and N almost went into convulsions when H appeared at the breakfast table and he wasn't wearing green. I had a hard time convincing them that this was okay - it's okay not to wear green on St. Patrick's Day. It's optional. The next thing that happened was that they asked me to get "the rest" of the St. Patrick's Day decorations out. There are no St. Patrick's Day decorations! It's not a real holiday! Well there are some shamrocks I cut out and write personal Irish blessings on but that's it.
Then they asked me if I could go to N's favorite store (Michaels) and buy leprechaun hats. So what am I doing at noon after my Monday deadline when I should be getting ready for Wednesday's deadline? I'm at the craft store trying to figure out how to make leprechaun hat out of foam top hats, glitter peel and stick paper, and green ribbon. Then I buy chocolate gold coins, and shamrock shaped chocolate lollypops. 
Thirty dollar later and I'm at home prepping dinner for nine because the one thing I will do to celebrate St. Patrick's Day is to invite friends over and serve nothing but green foods. One year I even made green smoothies.
I arrange the hats and the coins and the lollypops and when my kids get home they scream, "the leprechauns have been here!"
Leprechauns, the Easter Bunny, Santa, the Tooth Fairy, I never get the credit for anything.
Leprechauns. I hate 'em.
Do you know what leprechauns do? I'll tell you. They come into kindergarten classes while the kids are out and they mess stuff up - desks, chairs, etc. Then they use the bathroom and turn the water in the toilet bowl green.
And you know what happens then? Well first my kids think because of the leprechaun and the toilet that it's open season to use bathroom talk but what's worse is they come home and act like leprechauns. "Come and see, the leprechauns were here," they say and then they take me by the hand and excitedly show me rooms that they've messed up - admitting gleefully that "they" are the leprechauns.
As of yet no leprechauns have stepped forward to clean things up.
I'm hoping the house elves will have a word with them.
Yesterday I took three out of my four boys to a pagan celebration of the equinox. 
Because - you see - the first day of spring is a holiday I can get behind.

song: Good Luck Charm • artist: Elvis Presley

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Everybody Have Fun Tonight

Yesterday we picked C up after school except that we were early so my other three kids decided they couldn't wait in the car and were going to go play on the playground. "There is no playground, the DPW tore it down," I reminded them.
"Then we'll play on the field," they said.
"It's freezing out," I reminded them.
"We don't care," they said.
"Got a soccer ball?"they asked.
"Only this half deflated one," I said.
"We don't care," they said.
Off they went and tore up the field for 15 minutes in the freezing cold with nothing to entertain them but a mostly deflated soccer ball.
So - if my kids ever complain about being cold, or being bored, or needing new toys - I will remind them of the day they played outside with a dead soccer ball w/o hats or gloves when it was 29°F. Touché.

song: Everybody Have Fun Tonight • artist: Wang Chung

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Midnight Ride II

William Dawes.
The name of the Patriot who rode with Paul Revere on April 18, 1775, warning the Minute Men and townspeople about the travel plans of the British Army. He is usually referred to as "the other guy."
Interestingly he and Paul Revere were both caught by the British. William quickly escaped.

song: Midnight Ride • artist: Paul Revere and the Raiders

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

I Would Die 4 U

Dear Prince,
That seems a little drastic. Maybe you could just use proper grammar for me?

song: I Would Die 4 U • artist: Prince and the Revolution

Happiness is ...

when your kids come in the house and announce they've fallen head first into a puddle of mud instead of a snow bank.
#hashtag Think spring.

Sunday, March 09, 2014

Midnight Ride

The twins have brought both their LL Bean LED lanterns to bed with them.
It's one of by land, two if by bunk bed.

song: Midnight Ride • artist: Paul Revere and the Raiders

Friday, March 07, 2014

Dear God

This year's Falmouth Reads Together book is Frankenstein. I was feeling a bit sheepish over having never read it despite it's having been on my bookshelf for as long as I can remember.
So - I dusted it off and started reading.
When I got to the part where the monster (who's much more eloquent than I'd expected) starts listing the books he'd read: Paradise Lost, The Sorrows of Young Werther, and Plutarch's Lives, I realized that not only was I remiss in having never read Frankenstein - I'm not even as well read as Mr. Frankenstein's monster.
Ah well. Less well-read perhaps but I'm not a hideous beast, so I guess I've got that going for me.

song: Dear God • artist: Monsters of Folk

I Never Wear White

Me neither.

song: I Never Wear White • artist: Suzanne Vega

Monday, March 03, 2014

What I Like About You

Today's NaBloPoMo prompt is "tell us five interesting things about yourself." 
Who can resist that?
1. I bellydance because it reminds me of figure skating.
2. I can't go to bed if my closet door is open.
3. I collect old typewriters and floaty pens.
4. I love to eat at diners.
5. My new year's resolution this year (and last) is to pick up at least one piece of litter every day. I probably missed about 10 days in 2013 but I'm 62 for 62 so far in 2014.

song: What I Like About You • artist: The Romantics

There's a Last Time for Everything

Last night I tossed out some steamed squash that had been in my freezer (according to the label) since October of 2007. 
That made it older than two of my four children.

album: There's a Last Time for Everything • artist: Lucy Wainwright Roche