Friday, March 21, 2014

Good Luck Charm

Holy cow, what's the deal with St. Patrick's Day? The school's have boosted this holiday, which has less pull than Columbus Day I mean there's no three day weekend involved, to legendary status. I suspect it's because it's a holiday, despite the word saint in it's title, that doesn't offend anyone. Who can be offended by little green men, pots of gold and a song about unicorns that was written by a jewish guy from Chicago (Shel Silverstein)? Me that's who.
S & N woke up Monday morning and their first words were "Guess what? It's St. Patrick's Day!" I know they said this because they were both sleeping in my bed. Which means I had to spend half the day preparing for a pseudo holiday on top of not getting enough sleep.
They were so excited and all I could think was, "nothing happens on St. Patrick's Day guys, it's not a real holiday. You're not even Irish." 
Okay fine. You wear green to school. But that's it. And even that was totally overdone in the school. I tell you the twin's entire kindergarten class was a sea of green. I couldn't recognize kids whose names I know because they all looked the same. There were green beads and green buttons. S and N almost went into convulsions when H appeared at the breakfast table and he wasn't wearing green. I had a hard time convincing them that this was okay - it's okay not to wear green on St. Patrick's Day. It's optional. The next thing that happened was that they asked me to get "the rest" of the St. Patrick's Day decorations out. There are no St. Patrick's Day decorations! It's not a real holiday! Well there are some shamrocks I cut out and write personal Irish blessings on but that's it.
Then they asked me if I could go to N's favorite store (Michaels) and buy leprechaun hats. So what am I doing at noon after my Monday deadline when I should be getting ready for Wednesday's deadline? I'm at the craft store trying to figure out how to make leprechaun hat out of foam top hats, glitter peel and stick paper, and green ribbon. Then I buy chocolate gold coins, and shamrock shaped chocolate lollypops. 
Thirty dollar later and I'm at home prepping dinner for nine because the one thing I will do to celebrate St. Patrick's Day is to invite friends over and serve nothing but green foods. One year I even made green smoothies.
I arrange the hats and the coins and the lollypops and when my kids get home they scream, "the leprechauns have been here!"
Leprechauns, the Easter Bunny, Santa, the Tooth Fairy, I never get the credit for anything.
Leprechauns. I hate 'em.
Do you know what leprechauns do? I'll tell you. They come into kindergarten classes while the kids are out and they mess stuff up - desks, chairs, etc. Then they use the bathroom and turn the water in the toilet bowl green.
And you know what happens then? Well first my kids think because of the leprechaun and the toilet that it's open season to use bathroom talk but what's worse is they come home and act like leprechauns. "Come and see, the leprechauns were here," they say and then they take me by the hand and excitedly show me rooms that they've messed up - admitting gleefully that "they" are the leprechauns.
As of yet no leprechauns have stepped forward to clean things up.
I'm hoping the house elves will have a word with them.
Yesterday I took three out of my four boys to a pagan celebration of the equinox. 
Because - you see - the first day of spring is a holiday I can get behind.

song: Good Luck Charm • artist: Elvis Presley

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

The difficulty with celebrating St Patricks day is that it is the day the British evacuated Boston because Knox brought canons from Fort Ticonderoga and installed them on a hill overlooking Boston. The British took a look at the defenses on the hill, and remembering Bunker Hill decided to pull out. So it should be immortalized as Evacuation Day.