Tuesday, December 30, 2008


My second old lady moment of the day came in the art supply store over the cost of a tube of cadmium yellow light. Have you priced acrylic paints lately? Well they ain't selling at 1990 prices that's for sure. I felt like I was standing in the grocery store in my sagging knee highs: "will ya just look at the price of bread these days!"
My first old lady moment came earlier when my new bathing suit from Land's End arrived - the two-piece suit with the little skirt.
"I'm wearing bathing suits with little skirts on them!" I thought at I tried it on.
Then I looked at myself in the mirror and thought, "hey, I look pretty good - for someone who's had twins"
Which is either a horrible thought or a mature thought; or a horribly mature thought.

song: W.O.L.D. • artist: Harry Chapin

Monday, December 29, 2008

Just When I Needed You Most

Ken's parents have taken my big boys to Connecticut for a few days. They called last night and it sounded like everything was going swimmingly. It's a funny thing, the secret desire for your kids to fall apart and not be able to get along without you. I mean how else can I justify my existence unless my kids need me so much that they can't get by without me? Of course on the other, more logical hand I, like all parents, want my children to grow up and become little autonomous beings.
As for someone needing you and being unable to get by without you (at least when it comes to finding missing keys, cell phones, wallets, and check books), I guess that's what husband's are for.

song: Just When I Needed You Most • artist: Randy Vanwarmer

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Will The Circle Be Unbroken

Here is the trajectory of my life thus far as it applies to stemware. In the beginning, for apartment living, mismatched wine glasses were acquired from the pick of the liter and various yard sales.
Then came marriage. Everyone knows that a successful marriage hinges on having several sets of tasteful matching stemware. Ours were chosen by friends with a lot of help from a friendly little device known as a wedding registry, which lets your loved ones know that you don't think they are capable of picking out tasteful items for themselves. Ultimately most of these glasses got broken.
After we had kids we couldn't be bothered with wine glasses that couldn't be jammed into the dishwasher and had to be washed by hand. Instead we started saving jelly jars to use as all-purpose drinking glasses. We amassed quite a collection.
Now for the rub. This summer C purchased a wine glass at a church fair which he presented to me. For Christmas he did the same with a wine glass he got at the thrift shop. A wine glass I had to give him the dollar to buy.
So it's back to mismatched wine glasses. If I just have another round, maybe I won't notice.

song: Will The Circle Be Unbroken • artist: A.P. Carter

Friday, December 26, 2008

I Go To Pieces

December 26: the day after Christmas. The day when: Mommy can't configure the highway pieces to connect to the car garage, there's a piece mysteriously broken off the telescope but no one's owning up to it, the model helicopter is missing two wooden washers, the marionette strings are tangled, the drum on the gem polisher is squeaking, the Frontier Logs aren't compatible with last Christmas's Lincoln Logs, and no one can work their yo yos.
No wonder Santa gets the other 364 days of the year off.

song: I Go To Pieces • artist: Peter and Gordon

Christmas Morning

C was standing at the foot of our bed yesterday morning at 3AM, clutching his Christmas stocking. It's been a while since he's come into our room in the middle of the night (he usually just cries in his bed until one of us gets up and troupes in). I could just make out his silhouette against the blue glow of the nightlight.
My own little ghost of Christmas present.

song: Christmas Morning • artist: Lyle Lovett

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Falling Slowly

One Christmas Eve when I was around the age when nagging suspicions - like all those presents in one night, flying reindeer, houses without chimneys, and handwriting that looked just like my mothers - begin to surface and swirl around Santa, I remember my father coming home in the late afternoon with a wooden truck.
"I was just walking and it fell out of the sky," he told me.
"It must have fallen off Santa's sled as he was flying over," he added.
Woah. A bonus gift.
For years after that truck was outside in my sandbox. My most favorite Christmas gift that I'd never requested or even wanted.
H went to bed tonight, as per his request, with the covers over his head. He was taking the lyrics to the song "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town" very literally.

song: Falling Slowly • soundtrack: Once

Give A Little Bit II

Here's the tally:
Santa - one bathrobe
Mrs. Claus - one candy cane (yeah, that's fair)
Reindeer - carrots and reindeer food (oats and glitter)
The Elves - a box of nails
Santa's Mouse - cheese (I didn't know Santa had a mouse did you?)
I hope that covers everyone.

song Give A Little Bit • artist: Supertramp

Give A Little Bit

Guess what? The thrift shop had a bathrobe in forest green, with red trim and white piping! It was 50% off.
It's a Christmas miracle.
Now we just have to get a present for Santa's elves.

song: Give A Little Bit • artist: Supertramp

Monday, December 22, 2008

Like To Get To Know You

My cousins hosted their annual holiday gathering at my aunt and uncle's house Sunday night. H and C had fun playing with my cousin's children, Lily and James. At one point during the evening I went up to the guest room they were all playing in and tried to make small talk.
"Is this the bed that you're going to sleep in tonight?" I asked James.
"Yeah, well, you know, my mom, her mom and dad own this house," he carefully explained to me.
I nodded.
A few minutes later Lily came out with a Fisher Price a-frame house, the same one her mother and I used to play with 30-plus years ago, which was in remarkably good shape all things considered. Coincidentally (or perhaps not) Uncle Mike and Aunt Betty's original summer house was an a-frame.
I tried a new tack. "You know when I was a little girl your mom and I used to play with that same house over at your Grandpa and Grandma's house."
"This is my Grandpa and Grandma's house," said Lily.
It seemed like a good time for the creepy old lady to leave the little kids alone, so I went back down stairs and into the living room of the house owned by the parents of James's mom. The house that also IS Lily's Grandma and Grandpa's house.

song: Like To Get To Know You • artist: Spanky & Our Gang

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Walking in a Winter Wonderland

C was outside playing in the snow at 9 o'clock on Saturday morning. He was able to get out so quickly because he is the only one of my children who is able to dress himself in his winter duds.
It took another 90 minutes to get everyone else (and myself) ready. I was racing along trying to get everyone fed, changed, and dressed before C got cold and came in.
Remember that feeling of being the first one out to explore the yard after a "big snow?" Everything is untouched and new looking, as if you're the first person to discover it.
I didn't remember this but it seems that it's mandatory (at least for my kids) to going around in the snow with one's tongue sticking out.

song: Walking in a Winter Wonderland • artist: Richard B. Smith

Saturday, December 20, 2008

I'm a Believer

C brought home a flyer from school about next Tuesday's Pajama Day. On the last day before vacation begins, all the kindergarten classes are going to wear their pajamas to school and watch Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.
The flyer said that if you didn't want your child to watch Rudolph you could let the school know and they would provide an alternative activity.
I wish I could opt him out of the movies they watch during indoor recess, or the one they watched on Friday's half day of school. Sometimes I think C watches more TV at school than he does at home.
I know we live in sensitive times but who would opt their children out of Rudolph? People who don't believe in reindeers?

song: I'm a Believer • artist: The Monkeys

Friday, December 19, 2008

One Way Or Another (I'm Gonna Get You)

Here's a little something to freak out the kids with. Just in case the threat of Santa is starting to wear thin.
I sufficiently terrorized my six year old with it this morning.

Little Orphant Annie's come to our house to stay,
An' wash the cups an' saucers up, an' brush the crumbs away,
An' shoo the chickens off the porch, an' dust the hearth, an' sweep,
An' make the fire, an' bake the bread, an' earn her board-an'-keep;
An' all us other childern, when the supper-things is done,
We set around the kitchen fire an' has the mostest fun
A-list'nin' to the witch-tales 'at Annie tells about,
An' the Gobble-uns 'at gits you
Ef you Don't Watch Out!

Wunst they wuz a little boy wouldn't say his prayers,--
An' when he went to bed at night, away up-stairs,
His Mammy heerd him holler, an' his Daddy heerd him bawl,
An' when they turn't the kivvers down, he wuzn't there at all!
An' they seeked him in the rafter-room, an' cubby-hole, an' press,
An' seeked him up the chimbly-flue, an' ever'-wheres, I guess;
But all they ever found wuz thist his pants an' roundabout:--
An' the Gobble-uns 'll git you
Ef you Don't Watch Out!

An' one time a little girl 'ud allus laugh an' grin,
An' make fun of ever' one, an' all her blood-an'-kin;
An' wunst, when they was "company," an' ole folks wuz there,
She mocked 'em an' shocked 'em, an' said she didn't care!
An' thist as she kicked her heels, an' turn't to run an' hide,
They wuz two great big Black Things a-standin' by her side,
An' they snatched her through the ceilin' 'fore she knowed what she's about!
An' the Gobble-uns 'll git you
Ef you Don't Watch Out!

An' little Orphant Annie says, when the blaze is blue,
An' the lamp-wick sputters, an' the wind goes woo-oo!
An' you hear the crickets quit, an' the moon is gray,
An' the lightnin'-bugs in dew is all squenched away,--
You better mind yer parunts, an' yer teachurs fond an' dear,
An' churish them 'at loves you, an' dry the orphant's tear,
An' he'p the pore an' needy ones 'at clusters all about,
Er the Gobble-uns 'll git you
Ef you Don't Watch Out!

by James Whitcomb Riley

song: One Way Or Another • artist: Blondie

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Take It On The Run

Round two of the flu shot this afternoon.
There were some kids in the waiting room at the pediatricians who were really freaking out. One tenacious little guy actually bolted for the door and his mom had to grab him and drag him back inside.
I like to see a little spunk and rebellion instead of merely encountering a room full of sheep all waiting to be next in line. It's Dylan Thomasesque. "Do not go gentle into that good exam room. Rage, rage against the nurse."
Unless it's my own kids that is.

song: Take It On The Run • artist: REO Speedwagon

I Love To Laugh

Another holiday joke from yours truly, made up on the spot, sure to crack up the six-and-under set.
Q: Who goes Ho, Ho, Ho, He, He, He?
A: Jolly Old Saint Tickle-las

song: I Love To Laugh • soundtrack: Mary Poppins

Please Mr. Postman

This year many soon-to-be Christmas presents arrived at our house via UPS. I've even been hailing the driver with a big "hello Santa," each time she delivers a box.
At first I worried about what would happen if a box arrived when C was home. H I could get around but C would ask a lot of questions and would naturally want to open the box. As fate would have it most of the boxes arrived during school hours. Most of them, that is, until Friday. On Friday the mail truck when by while we were walking home from the bus stop. An unusual occurrence given that our mailboxes are all at the end of the street. As suspected when we rounded the corner into the driveway I saw a box on the doorstep. He'll see this in a minute I thought. Desperately I began to fein an interest in our scarecrow, and miraculously he came over to investigate. I inched back down the driveway, picked up the empty recycle bin (Friday is trash day) and carried it towards the garage. I veered slightly to the left and brought the bin down on top of the package, swooped it up and carried both into the garage.
Either he missed the whole thing or he pretended not to notice.
Having dodged that bullet I breathed a sigh of relief and went in the house. Minutes later I'm changing a baby and there's a knock at the door. Yikes, I think, UPS driver. Usually she just taps and leaves so I exit the bathroom and when C says, "there's someone at the door," I answer, "that was just me banging the changing table."
Just then - another knock.
Why doesn't she just leave? I wonder, looking towards the front door. But wait, it's not UPS Santa, it's our across-the-street neighbor Dave, come to borrow an onion. Since he and his wife had the decency to build their addition long before we accumulated a house full of children, I bear him no ill will.
Another possible package fiasco avoided.
Dave is barely across the street when the mail truck is back in our driveway. The mailman was looking for his lost set of keys.
Somehow C doesn't notice. He is engrossed in the book, How to Draw 50 Dogs.
On Tuesday my parents were on their way out the door with H and C when there it was, a package on the doorstep. Normally I would have been looking out every once in a while or listening for the driver's faint knock but H had just put his finger on the hot burner and spent the last 20 minutes howling.
Again it worked out as my parents convinced the kids they didn't have time to watch me open the package. A package, which, I assured them later was just another running book for daddy.
Yesterday we're at the bus stop waiting for C and it's rainy so we're in the mini-van, the twins have been napping and went straight from naps to preschool pick up to bus stop pick up. I'm feeding them Yo Baby while we wait for the bus. After bus arrival I'm getting ready to head out when the UPS truck starts down the road. We live on a dead end dirt road and passing the UPS truck in a mini-van is not an option so I stayed put in the driveway of one of our snowbird neighbors till the truck went by again.
Waiting on the front step when we got home was an enormous box.
What's in that? I wondered. Everything I ordered (at least everything I could remember ordering) had already arrived.
There was no way to conceal it and H and C were soon clustered around it.
It was addressed to our neighbor two doors down, number 25, not number 35. I was a little hurt to think UPS Santa didn't even know my name after all the exchanges of pleasantries over the past month. Maybe it was a different driver.
Relief that the package was not for us was soon replaced by exhaustion at C's relentless obsession with delivering a box that would in no way fit in my van.
"Let's wait till daddy gets home," I suggested.
"Nooooo," he pleaded and headed off to the shed to look for Ken's dolly.
Unable to find it he suggested we drag the package down on his sled.
"Sleds don't work unless they're on snow," I reminded him. "I think we should wait and put it in daddy's truck."
He was growing frustrated with my nay saying and obvious attempts at procrastinating.
Finally I caved. "Maybe we could put it on top of your red wagon."
Off we both went to the shed to fish out the wagon.
In the meantime H wet his pants because, in classic George Bailey style, I wasn't there to keep him company while he went to the bathroom.
"See Joanne. Here's what the world would be like without you. Little boys going about peeing their pants."
"Thanks Clarence, guess I'll stick around."
After we cleaned up H and the twins, who both needed outfit changes for the same reason as their big brother, I walked C to the end of the driveway, placed a flashlight in his hand (yes, it was dark by now) and watched him triumphantly walk the box, which teetered on top of the wagon, down the street to the neighbor's house.
He did not remember to check for cars on the way out of their driveway.
"I forgot Mommy, is that okay?"
"We'll keep practicing until you remember, honey."

song: Please Mr. Postman • artist: The Marvelettes

Monday, December 15, 2008


Woah, Ann, you were into Michael Jackson when you were four? That's pretty precocious.
I see that we can compare bad kid-created jokes!
So how does your son feel about April Fools Day?

song: P.Y.T. • artist: Michael Jackson

Crumblin' Down

Two of my kids want to decorate the tree.
Two of them, plus the cat, want to undecorate it.
I wonder who will win?

song: Crumblin' Down • artist: John Mellencamp

Sunday, December 14, 2008

The Joker

Despite all the technological advances, the media saturation, the generation gap, and everything else that makes our own childhoods so vastly different from those of our children, kids, at least little kids, still find that same stupid stuff funny that we thought was funny. Take "Jingle Bells Santa Smells..." for example. Cave men probably made that up - and kids have been finding it hilarious ever since.
Every week day I pack a joke in C's lunch box. It's corny I know but kindergartners go for corny in a big way. December has featured holiday or winter-themed jokes. I cull them off the internet by googling "jokes" and "kids."
Every night I ask C how the "joke of the day" was.
Friday's joke was as follows:
Q: What do you call a snowman in July?
A: A puddle.
"I don't get it" he said when I asked him how he liked the joke.
"Well, what happens to a snowman when it gets warm?"
"It melts."
"So what do you call a snowman in July?"
"Yeah, but that's not funny."
"Oh." (pause)
"Mommy. Did you make up that joke yourself?"
Since I had nothing to lose I made one up on the spot.
"Okay then, how about this one. What do you call a snowman on a lilly pad?"
"I don't know, what?"
"Froggy the snowman"
He and H cracked up for about five minutes.
Joke writer for six year olds - I guess I missed my calling.

song: The Joker • artist: Steve Miller

Little Cream Soda

So I thought I'd toast your birthday with an orange soda since it's possible I haven't had one in 20 years. Getting a hold of one wasn't as easy as I'd anticipated. The convenience store in that little plaza near the Silver Lounge didn't have any. Their inventory looked pretty skimpy are they going out of business and no one told me? So I went to the W. Falmouth Market where they not only had orange soda, they had yuppie orange cream soda in a glass bottle, which of course I bought for two dollars but what was more disturbing was that it would have only been 40¢ cheaper to buy Fanta.
I think that two dollars 20 years ago would have bought us both those slices of Sicilian pizza and the orange soda.
Next year I'll save up, get myself a pint of Haagen-Dazs, and only eat half.

song: Little Cream Soda • artist: White Stripes

Friday, December 12, 2008


"Shed a tear 'cause I'm missin' you."

song: Patience • artist: Guns 'N Roses

Thursday, December 11, 2008

People Get Ready

Do you know why Grinch hated Christmas - "the whole Christmas season?"
It's probably because he had to spend it with kids.
Tonight we decorated the tree. Now I'm no Martha Stewart but there's an order to tree decorating and it's not icicles first, half the ornaments, and then the paper chains. The paper chains and the icicles have to go on last. I know this because I've lived for 40 years and decorated as many Christmas trees. Despite this knowledge, accumulated over the decades, my children refused to listen. They probably couldn't listen because freakin' visions of sugar plums were dancing in their wound up little heads and clouding whatever reason they might have had. Consequently every time they hung an ornament on the tree they knocked off at least two icicles. This eventually led to huge amounts of frustration, to which I wanted for all the world to say, "I told you so!" But good mothers almost never say that, so neither did I.
Instead I thought up some new Christmas carol titles based on the evening's events:
"He's knocking over the manger again"
"I saw Mommy Swilling Cabernet"
"Deck Your Brother"
"If you can't take turns with that Santa hat I'm taking it away"

and my favorite not-written-as-of-yet Christmas classic:
"Don't you dare stick your tongue out at Me."
After dinner I popped Rudoph the Red Nosed Reindeer in the DVD player to sedate them a bit. When it was over they were docile enough to lead up to bed but not without some running movie commentary from C.
"Why did the Elf want to be a dentist?"
"Why was the monster (the abominable snowman) mad at Rudolph?"
"Why did Rudolph go off and leave his friends?"
"How did Rudolph know to look for his family in the monster's cave?"
"Why didn't they show Santa going down any chimneys?"
Let's add "Rudolph the over-analyzed Reindeer" to the song list.

song: People Get Ready • artist: Curtis Mayfield and the Impressions

Ugly from the Front

It's the cat's favorite time of year. When we make amends for incarcerating her for the past 17 years by bringing a tree into the house for her to climb. It's just our little way of saying that despite bringing home all these meddlesome kids, we still love her.
Yes, the Christmas tree is up and Ken didn't swear once during the proceedings. He didn't swear while dragging it in the house. He didn't swear when I said it was crooked. He didn't swear when I suggested we turn it around so the bald spot would be in the back. Nothing got knocked off any of the countertops, desk or tables on the way in either because I had held C's good luck medal earlier in the day. The medal he got at Sophia's birthday party while playing Pixie Bingo. The medal everyone got.
"Hold my good luck medal, mommy," he insisted.
"What do I need good luck with," I asked, medal in hand.
"So you and daddy won't fight about the Christmas tree," he said directly.
After the tree was up we both stepped back and said the words we say every year.
"That's the ugliest tree we've ever gotten."

song: Ugly from the Front • artist: Lyle Lovett

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

We Go Together

This spring I mentioned that the mini van came equipped with satellite radio. The van's former owners said we'd have to start footing the bill in February if we wanted to keep it on but it's 10 months later and Sirius is still goin' strong. Sure, we should fess up, but they left the country after selling us their used car - at least that's what they told us. Now, when I get tired of WMVY (or when they play Hey Joe again), I switch on Sirius to see what's playing on "Big 80s" and "70s on 7." You would not believe how many hit songs Duran Duran had. You think there was only Rio, but you're wrong my friend, there were many, many, others.
The DJ on 70s at 7 is obnoxious in my opinion, which I find surprising since I consider the 80s to be a far more obnoxious decade of music than the 70s.
It's interesting the memories that songs of these two decades conjure up. I won't bore you with the details of my high school days but what I've noticed is that having graduated in 1986, songs from the Big 80s often remind me of a specific places, the movie theater (St. Elmos Fire, Don't You Forget About Me), the prom (Heaven), junior high school dances (Centerfold), that dance I went to with my Nova Scotia cousins (anything by Duran Duran since they all sound the same), driving my boyfriend to the bus station (So Far Away From Me) Whoops, I did say I wouldn't bore you didn't I?
The 70s on the other hand remind me of college because that's when I branched out from top 40 music and did what many other impressionable students have done before me, which is to embrace music of another generation.
What's funny about both stations is the often inappropriate juxtoposition of songs. For example last week the 70s station immediatelly followed Led Zeppelin's "D'yer Mak'er" with Michael Jackson's "Rock With You." Yes, both songs were released in the 70s but that's where the similarities end. There would not have existed a radio station in the 1970s that would have played both of these songs.
It's like being at the zoo, sure you can put the polar bear exhibit next to the giant tortoise, but you'd never find them hanging around together in nature.

song: We Go Together • musical: Grease

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

All Night Long

Once upon a time I had books on my night stand; which isn't saying I read any of them but they kept up appearances well enough. Now all I have is stuffed animals. Two bunnies, an elephant, and a hedgehog to be exact.
Last night was a four-star night meaning all four of my children woke up and cried.
The twins woke up and cried because they wake up and cry every night.
H woke up and cried because we'd turned out his bedroom light, forgotten to put on the closet light, and, gasp! the room was dark.
C woke up and cried because he couldn't find the water bottle he keeps filled by his bed. The one that pretty much ensures that he will be wearing pull ups in college

song: All Night Long • artist: Lionel Richie

Monday, December 08, 2008

Mustang Sally

Surely my three year old has elevated nose picking to an art form. He goes at it with the vigor of someone in serious Olympic medal contention. He's not going to be runner up - he's going for the gold.
That is, in fact, what I tell him.
"Stop looking for treasure up your nose."
But alas he does not stop.
Recently he added to the repertoire. Now it's no longer nose picking, it's nose picking and eating. He's in there so much he's giving himself a bloody nose and I think he may be spoiling his appetite to boot.
I considered sticking his fingers in cayenne pepper but it seemed too cruel. Instead I doused them with black pepper and told him if he picked his nose it would make him sneeze.
What kind of threat is that? He thought that was great and what's more, C wanted in on the action. So on that day, instead of discouraging one nose picker, I inadvertently creased a second one. Before you go out and try it let me just say - it doesn't work.
A few days after the black pepper incident, C came home from school and told me that the guidance teacher visited his class and told everyone that they should never pick their nose and eat it because boogers have dirt in them. She then offered them an alternative - ghost boogers. This is putting a Kleenex over a finger and picking with that - when no one is around. Sort of like a finger-picking condom.
Armed with this new information, which must be true because it came from some besides Mommy, C set forth to try and reason with H.
I could hear him in the back of the van.
C: "You shouldn't eat that. That's dirt."
H: "But I like to."
C: "I'm telling you, you're going to get sick. That's dirt."
H: "No it's not."
Do you see the pun in that last sentence? I almost drove off the road I was laughing so hard.

song: Mustang Sally • artist: Wilson Pickett

Sunday, December 07, 2008

The Winner Takes It All

Dear Ann ,

Thanks for the award! I feel undeserved since the rules say I'm suppose to nominate seven other bloggers, and, well, with the exception of your blog, and reading that very funny story by Amy
about her son and the buttermilk, I don't actually follow any other blogs.
I don't have the time. Honest! I would have to give up eating if I wanted to fit even the tiniest new thing into my day. I've already given up sleeping.
Not reading other people's blogs is yet another thing I feel guilty about. Why should I expect anyone to read mine if I can't return the favor. It's like writing a novel that you hope every will read and then admitting that you never read for pleasure.

song: The Winner Takes It All • artist: Abba

Saturday, December 06, 2008

County Line

Here are some observations based on this week's recent shopping excursions, in person and in catalogues. Why is it that we can all buy rifles to stash under our beds but no one can buy a real dart set anymore?
Doink It? Anyone?
And have you noticed that supermarket bags have gotten shorter? I suppose it's a trick to make us into think we are getting more for our money, as in: "hey! it used to take me $40 to fill a grocery bag. Now it only takes $20. What great deals the store must be offering!"
At least it will have a positive effect on the newspaper industry. People packing the Times into bags for recycling will say to themselves, "who says newspapers are on their way out? Why just look at how much bigger all the papers are this week!"
On our way to Sophia's 7th birthday party this afternoon the traffic on Rte. 28 in Waquoit was at a standstill while three wild turkeys crossed the road. Guess no one had their rifles with them.
Or any real darts.

song: County Line • artist: Pousette-Dart Band

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

The Beat Goes On

We composted the remaining Thanksgiving leftovers this morning. Everything except for the turkey pieces that Ken picked out of the soup. We saved that for the cat. And the beets - they still looked pretty good so we finished them with tonight's dinner.
That's that. Thanksgiving is officially over. Not that it's a holiday that lingers for very long anyway. As soon as the turkey is off the table it's pretty much a straight shot on to Christmas. Unlike, say, Halloween, which lingers around the fringes of Thanksgiving. Those pumpkin gourds are harvest-like anyway and so what if there are some pipe-cleaner spiders peaking out from behind them? Conversely, there will be no colored-in Thanksgiving turkeys made from someone's traced hand mingling with the nativity set and the snow globes.
Which reminds me, I said I'd get the outdoor lights from the guest bedroom closet tonight. Better get on that.

song: The Beat Goes On • artist: Sonny and Cher

Can't Keep It In II

From Christmas present panic it's only a short trip into the land of clever-photo-for-the-holiday-greeting-card panic. Ken had a great idea about printing out the letters N O E L on card stock and having each kid hold a letter up for the camera. I was working up the letters on the computer last night when H announced that he needed to do you know what in the potty and that my presence was required to, "keep me company."
I called out to him that he should go in the bathroom and get started without me but instead, he came into the computer room. He got started without me - just not in the bathroom.
Strange, for someone who seems to like talking about poopies as much as he does, he sure didn't like having them in his pants.

song: Can't Keep It In • artist: Cat Stevens

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Hold On

The Buba Buddy. The Bottle Nanny. The Bottle Bundle. The Bottle Sling.
There are a number of devices on the market to help prop up a bottle in a baby's mouth so mum can have her hands free - presumably to make dinner, massage the neck of her husband, or throw in a load of wash. Surely it would be frowned upon if the manufacturers knew mums were frittering away their time answering e-mail and leaving their babies to be fed by such a contraption. No sir, you'll never catch me using a Bottle Nanny.
That's because a stuffed teddy bear works just as well.

song: Hold On • artist: Tom Waits

Movin' Out

So now my other neighbor, also single and childless, is adding on to her house! I think I need to move to another neighborhood, one where only families in excess of two children are allowed to build additions.
I'm even jealous of her on-site storage pod.

song: Movin' Out • artist: Billy Joel

Monday, December 01, 2008

It's Too Late

Now that it's December I think I am officially going into Christmas present panic mode. Last year at this time I had all my shopping done. This year I have twice as many children and barely any gifts squirreled away. Last year at this time of course I was almost eight months pregnant and afraid that I might go into labor or be put on bed rest before the holidays.
If that's what it takes to motivate me to shop on time my kids are in real trouble. I don't plan on having that particular motivation ever again.
I e-mailed a bunch of editorial to the newsroom last night, hopelessly late as usual. How long can I use the excuse of having four children to explain my own state of constant dishevelment?

song: It's Too Late • artist: Carole King