Straight Shooter

Captain Ahab takes aim.

song: Straight Shooter • artist: The Mamas and the Papas

Look Out Any Window

As if having to duck Jehovah's Witnesses weren't enough now I have to look out for door-to-door political canvassing. For the record, I didn't ignore that woman who came to the door today - I just chose to take out the compost when I saw her headed towards the house.
This election just needs to be over.

song: Look Out Any Window • artist: Bruce Hornsby

When the World in Running Down

The twins like to pull the rubber tires off their model cars leaving them looking as if they are junk yard vehicles about to be sold for parts. Or in the case of this police cruiser - like they've been parked for too long in a bad neighborhood.

song: When the World in Running Down, You Make the Best of What's Still Around • artist: The Police

Love in the Library

Yesterday C asked if someday we could spend the whole day at the library so that when he finished one book, "I could just get another one."
He's more of a geek than I could have ever hoped for!

song: Love in the Library • artist: Jimmy Buffett

Hot Potato

Finally! C has a loose tooth.
Looks like he might not be the 40-year-old virgin after all.

song: Hot Potato • artist: The Wiggles

The Entertainer

Who knew that the greatest thing since sliced bread would turn out to be air-popped popcorn?
It's the snack that entertains.

song: The Entertainer • artist: Billy Joel

Clampdown

The only problem with purchasing the majority of your child's wardrobe at rummage sales and thrift shops is that they will inevitably end up with a closet full of red pants and orange shirts.

song: Clampdown • artist: The Clash

Add it Up II

I made a second grader cry during math games last week. Well, I didn't make her cry; really, the math game itself made her cry. I'll be the only elementary school volunteer who gets asked not to come back. "Just send in your Kleenex and  peanut-free snack donations Mrs. Briana-Gartner but for the love of our children, please stay home."
I also made a kid cry my first week volunteering in the kindergarten class. It was my own kid though, and he cried because he thought he was going to get to go home with me (at 11AM). So that doesn't really count.
Later, during that same volunteering stint, I wowed a group of seven year olds, not with my addition and subtraction prowess - but with my ability to make a bridge when shuffling cards.
I'll take it where I can get it.

song: Add it Up • artist: Violent Femmes

Did You Ever Have To Make Up Your Mind?

Sara Maria says that cod liver oil helps boost brain power and since I haven't increased my brain power since I was 12 and used to take that multiple choice quiz in Reader's Digest Magazine - no wait - that was How To Increase Your Word Power. In that case I haven't tried to increase my brain power ever. At any rate I thought I'd give it a go.
All the bottles of cod liver oil at Amber Wave touted their product for easing the pain of achy joints, none mentioned brain power. Well, whatever, I've got achy joints too and the largest bottle was only $8 so I decided to get some anyway but the woman ahead of me in line kept hemming and hawing over her purchases and changing her mind and making the sales clerk pour her endless bags of some type of white powdery substance, "one bag, no wait, how much is it? What? Oh okay, another bag then."
Then she started rummaging for her credit card and it was already after 4:30 and I couldn't take it any more so I put the cod liver oil back and fled.
What I really need is a second dose of St. John's Wart to help be deal with the crazy, indecisive people in line ahead of me at the health food store.
That and more chocolate.

song: Did You Ever Have To Make Up Your Mind? • artist: Lovin' Spoonful

Up All Night

Anyone got experience with white mice? I've heard that rats make good pets but C is enamored with mice.

song: Up All Night • artist: Boomtown Rats

The Unicorn Song

OMG and speaking of the "Unicorn Song" - did you know that was written by Shel Silverstein? Mr. Silverstein also penned "Cover of the Rolling Stone," "The Boa Constrictor Song" (you know, "I'm being eaten by a boa constrictor, a boa constrictor, a boa constrictor..."), and The Johnny Cash hit, "A Boy Named Sue;" but the "Unicorn Song" I just figured was one of those folk songs passed down from generation to generation - like the rest of them there Irish tunes that get belted out on St. Patrick's Day by Liam himself.
You know, like maybe it was written by Noah - himself.

song: The Unicorn Song • artist: Shel Silverstein

Guitar Man

My good friend Gene Bourque is once again offering guitar lessons out of his home studio in West Falmouth.  He taught me to strum a few chords so it's a sure bet he can teach you something.
Maybe there will be a track club duet in the future featuring Bob Richards and myself. Hope Bob knows the Unicorn Song.

song: Guitar Man • artist: Bread

One Bad Apple

Question: If my children pick apples in the rain, do I still have to wash the apples off before packing them in their lunch boxes?

song: One Bad Apple • artist: The Osmonds

Celebration

What a great day! Not only was yesterday my anniversary (these go to eleven), but the diner that has been sitting vacant at the Otis rotary is finally open for business.
Two reasons to celebrate.

song: Celebration • artist: Kool and the Gang

If I Were A Rich Man

In the old days rich folks puddled their drapery fabrics on the floor in an opulent display of wealth which translated into "look at me, I'm so wealthy I ooze velvet." The modern day equivalent of puddling might be people who put out their returnable bottles and cans along with their regular recycling as if to say, "look at me, I don't need no stinkin' nickel."
There's a lot of puddling going on over in Pine Bay. I might have to hitch a wagon to my bicycle.

song: If I Were A Rich Man • musical: Fiddler on the Roof