Dream Police

A Halloween koan:
If my kids are the only ones trick or treating on our street, do I still have to fill a bowl with candy?

song: Dream Police • artist: Cheap Trick

Sooner or Later

Because it's not bad enough that the World Series gets played at the end of October - they have to air commercials about Christmas between pitches.

song: Sooner or Later • artist: The Grass Roots

She's (Shoe's) Come Undone

Low Expectations:
Me: "Your shoe is untied, didn't we double knot it this morning?"
Him: "School's six hours! Knots can't last that long."

song: She's Come Undone • artist: The Guess Who

New World in the Morning

For this weekend's read aloud I thought I'd choose something appropriate to the holiday and so I went with Jean Fritz's "Where Do You Think You're Going Christopher Columbus?" which I read to S & N over the course of two nights.
Having finished it I have to wonder why we continue to celebrate this holiday at all. I mean I guess I always knew that he didn't exactly discover the "new world" since there's that little problem of all the people who already lived there. And I knew he was looking for a trade route to the Indies and that in fact the "new world" was just a little something that got in the way. But I didn't realize what a jerk he was, how bullheaded he was, and basically how deluded he was. Even the book, which is a children's book, couldn't come up with much to say about him that was nice.
In the end one of the twins asked me, "was Christopher Columbus a good guy or a bad guy?" To which I answered, "well, he was certainly ambitious." Which led to the question I knew it would lead to: "what's ambitious?" But at least it got us off the subject of Christopher Columbus.
A quick internet search reveals how other communities have dealt with this most grayish of holidays. In Berkeley California they celebrate Indigenous Peoples Day. In South Dakota it's Native American Day. Hawaii has Discover Day. 
Rather than rid ourselves of a long weekend in October, and to avoid me ever again having to explain who Christopher Columbus was to my kids, I propose we rename it as well.
Here in New England we could call it "Apple Picking Weekend," "Leaf Peeping Day" or "Time to Bring the Houseplants Plants Inside Weekend." 
At our house it was "Last Swim of the Season Weekend."

song: New World in the Morning • artist: Roger Whittaker

Dawned on Me

Looks like I inadvertently left some treats in with the Halloween decorations when I stored them in the attic last year. In case you were wondering - yes - mice eat chocolate.
Also, I've given up on trying to decorate separately for Halloween and Thanksgiving. Even with Thanksgiving coming way at the end of November this year, these holidays are too close together.  Just throw all those decorations up at once and get it over with is what I say.

song: Dawned on Me • artist: Wilco

Parenting Is...

thinking that bumper stickers declaring the driver's children have been chosen as "student of the week" are dumb, but secretly wishing that my kids' schools handed them out.

Leave It

If you're ready to leave the hotel 15 minutes before it's actually check out time, it feels like you're not getting your money's worth.

song: Leave It • artist: Yes

You're Not The Boss Of Me

The people who are ranting and raving about not wanting the government to tell them what to do when it comes to healthcare sound like stubborn nine year olds who don't want to wear their winter coats to the bus stop in January. "You can't tell me what to do!" they'll tell their moms all the while shivering in defiance. But actually, I'm guessing the ranters really do have healthcare. Is there anyone out there who's refusing employee-offered health care just to prove a point?

In that case, they are more like suborn nine year olds shouting about how they're not going to wear their coats and nobody can make them - except that they are, in fact, already wearing their coats.

song: You're Not the Boss of Me • artist: Bill Harley

Guess Things Happen That Way

When you're over 40 the card game Concentration could pretty much be renamed Just Guessing.

song: Guess Things Happen That Way • artist: Johnny Cash

You Ain't Going Nowhere

So we can hike in the White Mountains tomorrow because they haven't been shut down (yet), but if we get into trouble on the mountain there won't be any park rangers to bail us out.
Luckily we'll have the Affordable Care Act to take care of our injuries, provided we're able to hobble out of the woods by ourselves.

song: You Ain't Going Nowhere • artist: Bob Dylan