I'm not saying any of this ever happened to me - but here are some things that could happen to you if, as an adult, you still live in your own home town.
1. You might give directions using landmarks that no longer exist as in, "the parking lot for the bike path is just after Lil' Peach."
2. You might have to skip the cereal aisle at the supermarket because you can hear that your loud-mouthed ex-boss from a decade ago is conversing there. 2a. You might spend 10 minutes in the supermarket locked in conversation with someone whose name you can't remember.
3. Your sons might end up attending the elementary school behind which you and your high school boyfriend did unspeakable things.
4. You might run into a former classmate in line at the coffee shop and when he asks you "what's new," you blurt out rudely, "in the past 20 years?" instead of the more appropriate, "not much."
5. You might realize that you are now older than all your teachers were when you were in high school and junior high school.
6. You might run into those same teachers at bars.
7. You might segway straight from being paranoid that all the cool kids in high school are talking about you, to being paranoid that all the cool moms at preschool are talking about you.
8. You might run into the good friend of an exboyfriend and tell him his little boy is adorable. Then he'll tell you that's his daughter.
9. You might run into people who still, after 25 years, insist on adding an "a" to the end of your first name.
10. You might run into people who say, "I know you, you're (insert your own younger/older sibling here) sister."
song: My Hometown • artist: Bruce Springsteen
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Sound the Alarm!
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