Round Here

And now for the counting the sorting of the Halloween candy.
A time-honored holiday tradition.

song: Round Here • artist: Counting Crows

Be Good Johnny

You never know how much you use your saucepan until you let your six year old use it as part of his Johnny Appleseed Halloween costume.

song: Be Good Johnny • artist: Men At Work

No Time

My kids were the only ones at the Halloween party on Sunday not wearing store-bought costumes.
The only ones.
When I was a kid we felt sorry for the kids with store bought costumes. Now I feel like cheap-skate mom. Surely if I loved my children I would spend my money on them and not my time.

song: No Time • artist: The Guess Who

The Ballad of Peter Pumpkinhead

Between the squirrels who keep eating them, and the three year olds who want to keep carving and scooping them, our pumpkins don't stand a chance of making it to Halloween.

song: The Ballad of Peter Pumpkinhead • artist: XTC

Country Roads

Donny and My Twins (the variety hour from hell):
"You're a little bit stinky."
"And I'm a little bit rock and roll."

song: Country Roads • artist: John Denver

Big Shot II

Him: "Why don't they just shoot all our garbage up into space?"
Me: "I'm sure they're working on it."

song: Big Shot • artist: Billy Joel

Big Shot

You never know how many shoot outs there are in a movie until you watch it with your kids.

song: Big Shot • artist: Billy Joel

Stop Your Sobbing

What are the chances that while on the short walk to the bus stop for afternoon pick up both the twins will run down our dirt road at top speed and then fall down face first; one scrapping his knee, the other the palm of his hand?
Unfortunately, the chances are really good.

song: Stop Your Sobbing • artist: Pretenders

a birthday quatrain for Gene

bluefish, schoolie, small mouth bass,
hope your birthday was a blast.
martin, les paul, underwood,
sixty never looked so good.

Wild Horses

One morning, out of nowhere, N came downstairs and announced, "today we ride horses."
S jumped right on that bandwagon.
I said I didn't know of any places where we could go horseback riding but he seemed unconvinced.
Later that morning, in the car on the way to the library, N said he'd forgotten his gun, which he needed in order to "shoot horses, make them come."
I suggested that maybe we could make them come just by calling them - without having to shoot them to which Silas said, "you have phone?"
It was another "Waiting for Godot" moment, courtesy of my twins.
Luckily N & S got to go on the pony rides at the Freyburg Fair - without having to shoot any ponies.

song: Wild Horses • artist: The Rolling Stones

Escape (a couplet)

sometimes from the Cape,
it's good to escape.

song: Escape (the Pina Colada Song) • artist: Rupert Holmes

Psycho Killer

5 Ways to Spot Someone with Antisocial Personality Disorder

So I read this on Google as 5 Ways to SHOOT Someone with Antisocial Personality Disorder and thought, shooting someone's pretty antisocial all right, but how can there be more than one way to do it?

song: Psycho Killer • artist: Talking Heads

The Sweetest Thing

Go figure.
Twinkies stay soft forever, but the erasers on the pencils my kids got last year are all hard as rocks.
Maybe they need to start making erasers out of the same stuff as Twinkies.
Then the pencil manufacturers could get some government subsidies via the U.S. Farm Policy.

song: The Sweetest Thing  • artist: JJ Grey & Mofro

You Dropped A Bomb on Me

Before one becomes a terrorist, one should really consider what sort of terrorist one wants to be known as.
 Underwear bomber is even worse than the shoe bomber.

song: You Dropped A Bomb on Me • artist: The Gap Band

Digging in the Dirt

End-of-the-season at Scusset Beach.

song: Digging in the Dirt • artist: Peter Gabriel

Taking Care of Business

I think I could be pretty creative and make all of those craft projects in Family Fun magazine if only I didn't have to take care of my kids at the same time.

song: Taking Care of Business • artist: Bachman-Turner Overdrive

Always the Last to Know

The Tao of my Twins: Lesson #9

He who enters the mini-van last, cannot complain about which seat he gets.

song: Always the Last to Know • artist: Del Amitri

New World Man

song: New World Man • artist: Rush

Even Now

Even in the rain the parking lot at Storyland looked full.
Even in the rain the workers at Storyland were so nice.
Even in the rain we stayed until closing.

song: Even Now • artist: Barry Manilow