Too Many Fish in the Sea

At the library-sponsored program about "the sea around us" last week, one woman kept the attention of a room full of preschoolers for an entire hour, which is no small feat. She taught them all sorts of interesting things about ocean creatures, things I'm embarrassed to say, I didn't know.
Take starfish for example. Did you know they have five eyes? One on the end of each of their five arms? They would at least if there were such a thing as starfish but alas there isn't any longer. Scientists have decided that since starfish, in reality, are not fish, we now need to call them sea stars. These must be the same random scientists who decided to pull the plug on Pluto. No kidding a starfish isn't a fish! Do kids really think they are given that they don't look anything like a fish? What about cat fish? They're not cats. Dogfish? Wolf fish? Sea horses? How about jelly fish? I'm pretty sure they're neither jelly nor fish. Maybe we should call them sea blobs.
The people who brought us Cheddar Goldfish have a new, albeit misnamed, product out: Cheddar Starfish. Of course it's not really a new product, it's the same old product. For those consumers who don't like Goldfish, Pepperidge Farms has remade them into a new shape. And voila! Could you would you in a house? Would you could you with a mouse? Try them, try them, here they are. Surely Dr. Seuss had a sarcastic streak a mile long.
However, lest you think I hate everything corporate food related, Ken accidentally bought Reynolds Plastic Wrap in the exciting color of purple instead of just plain old clear. I love it! If I wasn't already sold on plastic wrap, when I'm not putting those reusable plastic covers all my closest friends refer to as "shower caps," over my salad bowls, I would be out there stocking up these babies.

song: Too Many Fish in the Sea • artist: The Marvelettes