Thursday, November 12, 2009


A 30-second news byte on channel 25 reported that the more children you have - the happier you are. By those standards I must be delirious.
In typical Fox news style there weren't any facts to back up this revelation as in who funded the study - maybe it was the Catholic church. Or Babies R Us. Who did they interview? If it was the sleep-deprived parents of newborns they would all be too tired to read a questionnaire properly.
And who are parents with children happier than? Convicts?
Speaking of insufficient data, that same night I saw a show called The 650lb Virgin which was not about a hippo or a giant panda but about a man who, up until radical surgery at age 32, had only gone on 12 dates. I don't know about you but I need more information about this as well. Was that 12 first dates, or one girlfriend that he went out with 12 times; because going on dates with a dozen different women doesn't seem too bad to me. I don't know that I've been on dates with 12 different men. Sometimes it's hard to know if you're even on a date - unless it was a computer match up. I guess what I'm saying is that if you're 500lbs overweight and still able to get 12 women to go out with you - that's pretty darn good.
But really what I'm saying is that I should quit watching late-night television.

song: Delirious • artist: Prince

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