Let 'Er Rip

When the babysitter was over last week she played some kind of game with H in which he took up his shield and sword and fought his unarmed stuffed baby chick. The babysitter played the part of the chick.
It seemed like a lopsided confrontation. First off, H is a real alive person with use of his hands and all while the weaponless chick can't do much of anything except emit a strange purring noise when squeezed which I think once sounded like a cheep.
What's up with these creative babysitters, who actually play with their charges? When I was a kid the babysitter left me in front of the tv all night; straight through to the end of Charlie's Angels, after which I would run a jump into bed, just as the headlights to my mother's car came streaming through the front windows of the house.
But anyway, because my children get quality sitters and not just the teenager down the street, I too, had to play this game. At first my chick had a chip clip to use as a weapon but N quickly relieved him of it. Despite the fight having turned into a real David and Goliath affair, I was determined to persevere with the game. If the babysitter could stand it then dammit, so could I.
"My chick doesn't need any weapons," I announced. "He's got a bionic beak."
H was initially impressed with the chicks pumped up state of overconfidence.
"Is he very strong?"
"Oh yes."
I was reminded of the killer rabbit scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail and felt for a moment like I might have a chance.
H went for the jugular at the first opportunity.
He's obviously got a future in the meat packing industry.

song: Let 'Er Rip • artist: Dixie Chicks