The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face

According to a certain current movie trailer there's a general misconception circulating that mothers can't keep baby poop off their heads. It reminds me of the equally irritating scene in Sex in the City where Steve has to tell Miranda she's got "a little doodee" on her head.
Please people. I have changed a lot of diapers - more than I care to think about. I have gotten poop on the wall and poop on my hands but I have never, ever, gotten poop on my head much less paraded my poopy head out in public for other people to comment on. Because you see - a wet diaper can be changed anywhere - a poopy diaper usually requires the offending toddler be relocated to the bathroom where the trash can and the wipes are - and - where the mirror is. So that even if there was a question about facial poop - I would be able to resolve it before making a big entrance.
Reason number two that you're likely to see mothers walking around with toilet paper stuck to their feet or their skirts tucked into their underwear before you see them with poop smeared faces (in case you need a reason number two) is this: poop smells - which makes it pretty easy to detect.
Glad we've got that cleared up.  And speaking of - I've got to go clear up some pee on the wall where my five year old missed the toilet.

song: The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face • artist: Roberta Flack