All Out of Love

Dear HP OfficeJet 4680 All In One,
You suck! I hate you! You are the worst printer I've ever owned! Ever! You are the worst printer I've ever had to deal with and that includes the old dot matrix printers that used continuous paper with perforated edges that were always jamming up, especially when I had to print labels.
All In One? All In One what? All In One Pain in the Neck, that's what! You jam up all the time! For no reason! You loose the connection to my laptop - out of spite!
I don't care that you only cost $99 18 months ago and I've probably gotten my moneys worth out of you. You'd be worthless and obsolete even if you weren't already worthless and obsolete. The color printer I had before you lasted six years and never had a problem. The only good feature you had was your copy feature and even that isn't working anymore.
You're not even worth Freecycling.
Sincerely your disillusioned and frustrated owner,
Joanne

song: All Out of Love • artist: Air Supply