Girls, Girls, Girls

Since the one thing I can do while nursing a baby (or two) is order things off the internet, I was going to order some new nursing bras.
But I won't be ordering them from the Motherhood website.
Couldn't they get a model who looks as if it's remotely possible that she gave birth in the last three months? If this woman's had a baby then I've flown the space shuttle. Even the baby looks incredulous.
What's more, this pseudo mom's not even doing it right. She's got the baby all arranged to nurse in a cradle hold on her left side and she's unhooking the right side of her nursing bra.
I know I'm tired and cranky and I smell like spit up - but I am not stupid.
Speaking of stupid, H keeps getting up on the couch and demanding that I bring him a twin.
"I nurse him," he asserts.
"Only girls can nurse babies," says C in his best, boy-are-you-stupid voice.
I don't bother pointing out that H isn't that stupid; at least he wants to nurse a real baby. When C was the same age and had only recently become a big brother he insisted on nursing his stuffed animals.

song: Girls, Girls, Girls • musical: The Merry Widow