If I had a Million Dollars

The Subaru is finally sold. This is the first time we've ever had a car to sell that was worth something.In the past our old cars have had to be hauled away on flatbed trailers or pawned off on a friends. Selling a car is like giving away a puppy, what you really want is a good home for it. So when people start to pick the car apart by implying the breaks are shot or commenting on superficial scratches, you bristle a little, it's like they're asking if the kitten sheds or does the puppy chews shoes. Sure, there's normal wear and tear on the vehicle, but in my mind the car is perfect in every way except that it doesn't seat six. Go ahead, take it for a spin and kick the tires, just don't insult it.
To paraphrase Mark Twain, reports of the death of newspaper classifieds have been greatly exaggerated. The more colorful responses came from Craig's List, like the woman from New Jersey who wanted to come see the car (they don't have Subarus in New Jersey?). Then there was the woman from New York who's moving to Boston and having twins in April. I gave her all sorts of expert twin advice over the phone and still she never called back. But in the end, the people who bought the car saw the ad in the newspaper. They said they liked the way the car handled, that they were "impressed with it." Which again is like saying they think your puppy is not only adorable, but also well behaved.
In dealing with people over the phone it's interesting who asks for directions and who doesn't. I think people who don't want my directions are missing out. I'm very thorough with directions. Yes, it's nice that you have map quest or GPS but to me it's more reassuring to get directions from a real person. Those directions will include descriptions of reassuring landmarks such as "Old Silver Beach on your right," or "the set of lights by the House of Pizza." It's more colorful. I even advised one couple who were coming from Foxboro to stop for lunch at the Silver Lounge.
Initially C suggested we sell the car for a million dollars. I explained that nobody would buy it for that much money so he wisely lowered his asking price:
"Let's sell it for two dollars," he said.
"Then we wouldn't make very much money," I said.
"We'd make two dollars," he said in a way that left me thinking he'd make two dollars and the rest of the family would make squat.
Also not appreciated in the car selling process are people who come out to see the car and then ask what I want for it as if they didn't read the price, which was clearly printed in the ad.
"Well I was asking a million, but for you, how's about two dollars?"
When the couple came to get the car last night they asked directions to the very restaurant I would have recommended for dinner, Chappy Grill.
The Subaru could have driven there itself.

song: If I had a Million Dollars • artist: Barenaked Ladies