Wednesday, September 05, 2012

Blowin' in the Wind

Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice.
I say it will end with a kleenex in the eye. At least it almost happened to me.
Yes folks it's not texting while driving that you have to watch out for, or even yanking on your cell phone; blowing your nose behind is what's really dangerous.
I've been doing all sorts of things while blowing my nose lately: blowing my nose while working on the computer, blowing my nose while hanging laundry, blowing my nose while disconnecting from computerized phone calls from political pundits, blowing my nose while sitting zazen (which surely never happened to Buddha); so I'm surprised it took so long for this incident to arise.
By freak chance I was in the car alone when it happened which was a good thing because a) I couldn't take my whole family with me, and b) I couldn't be mocked by them after the fact either.
What happened was I went to blow my nose and when I lifted the tissue to blow, a corner of it poked me in the eye causing my eye to close so forcefully that a piece of the tissue got caught in my eye and tore off.
My eye started running, my arms started flailing, I couldn't see anything and I was on the highway doing 60mph. Luckily there are days when being a townie comes in handy because even half-blind and crying I could find my exit and pull over towards it all the while seeing the phantom headline in my mind - "Mother of Four Killed by Kleenex on way to Library. Family Left to Pay Overdue Fines."

song: Blowin' in the Wind • artist: Bob Dylan


Winnie said...

I know this wasn't funny, but had to chuckle at the headline you wrote. I find SNEEZING while driving can have that effect on me, and with this allergy season, it is nothing to sneeze at.

Joanne said...

Yes, allergies have been bad so far. You just never know what's distracting drivers. I always say that people think it's teens and senior citizens that you need to watch out for but really it's minivans since they probably contain screaming children and distracted moms. Or in my case, moms who are poking themselves in the eye with a tissue.

That old lady with too many cats. . . said...

I hear you! My allergies haven't been as bad this year as some (knock on wood), but I did have a friend who crashed because of a sneeze. He closed his eyes during the sneeze (you know, so his eyeballs wouldn't pop out!) and missed the sudden stop of the car in front of him. Then, of couse, he didn't miss it. Plowed right into them. The cars took the most damage luckily. Still, tissues, sneezing, etc. can all be hazardous to your health.

a.eye said...

This did make me smile - not your pain, but the story in general because it reminds me of my eye injury.

I hope your eye was not scratched. I did that one morning and had to see a doctor because of the cornea damage. Eye watering so bad, I couldn't do anything at all. Had to wear an eye patch.

Boyfriend found it hilarious. Looking back, now I can laugh, too.

Joanne said...

Yikes about your eye scratch - my kids would have loved it if I'd had to wear an eye patch. We actually have a book called "Pirate Mom."