Star Wars

Star Wars is everywhere. You would think I'd have noticed before now.
Some of his little friends had seen the movie so C wanted to follow suit. The library rents it so we procured a copy. He planted himself determinately on the couch last Saturday night and watched it.
It was then that I finally saw the light. Lightsaber that is. I'd seen the LEGOs, sure, and the pop-up book at the little library, but it didn't sink in until Sunday when I heard an interview with Carrie Fisher on NPR which featured a Star Wars clip, one I could have recited verbatim, having just heard it the previous night ("well somebody has to save our skins!") On Monday I read that Symphony Hall had just held a Star Wars night featuring music from the series accompanied by movie clips. I made a mental note in the Davis Square bookstore that the children's corner had a number of Clone War graphic novels, the same books that were being readily scooped by seven-year-old boys two days later at the North Falmouth Elementary School's book fair.
The same night the book fair featured author T.M. Murphy who described a character in one of his novels as wearing "the same Star Wars shirt every day."
On Friday Esther alerted us to the website MyLifeIsAverage.com where people post examples of average lives that are infinitely more interesting than mine (hint to site posters in high school and college, you don't know the meaning of having an average day). One poster revealed that the first time her boyfriend said he loved her was, "after I won an argument regarding whether or not Anakin Skywalker was the chosen one."
It's hard to believe that a campy movie from the 70s and the many sequels and prequels it's spawned is truly the diabolical force controlling our every move. But the facts are irrefutable.
If only the force would stop by and cook dinner and I could exercise a little Obi Wan-like mind control over my children.

song: Star Wars • artist: John Williams

Force Ten

Reading a book before seeing the movie is one thing but books that are written after a movie becomes a huge mega hit are entirely another genre.

H and I read The Life and Times of Obi Wan Kenobi recently - it was his pick. Admittedly I found it to be a slog. Books about Star Wars (and there are loads of them) remind me of Barbie. It's all about what kind of clothes the characters are wearing and what color the beam on their light saber is.

I've been less excited about H's obsession with Star Wars than I was with his Moby Dick fixation. 

I won't deny it. I'm a literary snob who prefers my son reenact Nantucket sleigh rides in the front yard (which he did) rather than fight scenes from a long time ago and a galaxy far, far away. Star Wars movies seem to be all chase scenes and laser fighting to me. 

But then H noticed the correlation between Yoda and Zen. Which is that Yoda meditates - and Mommy meditates.

Then, at the end of the Life and Times of Obi Wan there was this description of the protagonist becoming one with the Force that was so like the analogy of swimming on the surface of the sea while walking on the bottom of the ocean it was uncanny. The Force - the energy of all things - it's kind of a Zen concept.

In fact the whole idea of being one with the Force and that the Force is all around us and we just need to recognize it, that is, to not be in duality with the Force.

I think the Force is Buddha nature. The Force might be the intersection of time and space. It could be that. Or it could be whatever Dan said it was in our dharma talk last week (I forgot what he actually did say).

Which led me to thinking I ought maybe to revisit the character of Obi Wan Kenobi. Why had H picked a book about him anyway? 

While we're at it we might a sky why are there even books (we're talking entire chapter books here) written about Obi Wan?

He's not the hero (that's Luke)

He's not the villain (that's Darth Vader)

He's not the Jedi Master (that's Yoda)

He's not comic relief (that's C3PO)

He's not even the side kick (that's Hans Solo)

So who is he?

He's the teacher.

He's the father figure.

He's the guy who advocates for Luke.

He's the guy who has found the middle way.

Woah. Is George Lucas a Buddhist?

Or maybe I'm just reading too much into it. Maybe Star Wars is just being a movie and you know, exhibiting its movie nature. Because sometimes a movie, is just a movie.

song: Force Ten • artist: Rush

Star Wars

Yes, I concede. Star Wars is MUCH cooler from the perspective of a seven-year-old boy.

song: Star Wars (Main Theme) • artist: John Williams

Shooting Star II

So we're in the toy store yesterday and H is trying to choose a LEGO Star Wars set and I voice my apprehension over all of them.
"it's just that they are all about fighting and battles." I say.
"But Mom, the movies ARE all about fighting and battles," he counters.
Touché.
And another thing, if the Star Wars prequels are so bad - why are the DVDs from the library always scratched up and skipping?

song: Shooting Star • artist: Bad Company

Stop in the Name of Love

Ah the internet. Does it bring us together or drive the wedge in further?
Does bemoaning the Mommy Wars help solve anything or does it just further emphasize that the Mommy Wars exist? It seems to me that nowhere do they exist better than on the internet.
Working moms who think stay at home moms are rich b*tches who play tennis all day and leave their kids with nannies. Stay at home moms who think working moms don't love their children and leave them in substandard daycares in order to pursue their careers. Yes some people think these things. Some people think all kinds of ridiculous and scary things. But do a majority of people really think these things?
The internet is a great resource for finding things out, but just about any crazy theory you have can be backed up by something you find on the internet.
Some people have observed that I use song titles in my blog posts and wonder how I am able to come up with so many titles. I say there's no shortage of song titles to fit any scenario. If my sons tried to flush the cat down the toilet I'm sure I could google "cat down the toilet" and +lyrics and come up with an appropriate song title.
I have a Facebook friend who posts often about the dangers of unsecured windows in apartment high-rises. Every week, sometimes twice a week, there are stories about children falling out of windows. It there a recent epidemic of kids falling out windows or has this always happened but now we can scan every newspaper in the country to find stories about it?
These two stories illustrate the point that you can find whatever you want to find on the internet. You want articles about lazy stay at home moms? You got 'em. You want stories about apathetic working mothers? There's plenty. It's so easy to leave careless comments on articles that go back and forth on the debate, the internet can't help but stir this pot. Working moms and stay at home moms have always existed and both camps question their choices - it's only recently that those of us who are only able to see things in black and white have become able to join the debate and comment on each and every story that comes along to either illustrate why our point of view is right, or justify why the other camp is wrong.
So when BlogHer runs a story titled "Working Moms Don't Choose For Their Babies to Die" I feel like this heartbreaking story is crushed under the weight of its title; a title I call sensationalism. The title is meant to stir up anger and outrage even if that's not the intention of the writer. Honestly, are there stay at home moms out there who really think this? The title would have you believe it's true and not only that - that it's the way lots stay at home mothers think. Yes, someone made an uncaring comment but this headline is fanning the flames.
Furthermore, BlogHer used the title in their weekly e-mail that's sent to subscribers - just in case you missed it the first time around. I know it was a terrible situation and an uncaring comment, but saying this has to stop while throwing the story out there to be commented on again - it just repeats the cycle.
Sometimes, the best way to stop something is to first stop ourselves.

song: Stop in the Name of Love • artist: The Supremes

Star Wars

If you take a toddler, say thirty inches tall, and you put your extra-large, On The Water fleece vest on him, and it reaches down to the floor, and the toddler walks around the kitchen, from the back he will look just like Yoda!

song: Star Wars theme • artist: John Williams

R is for Race Car

The Pinewood Derby is an event that your sons will participate in if they become cub scouts. 
You'll sign your kids up for cub scouts even though you frown on the BSA's stance on homosexual leaders because you're desperate for someone, anyone, to teach your kids good manners and besides you're a Unitarian so the kids meet plenty of gay couples at fellowship.
So you sign up for cub scouts and it's pretty fun. There are parades, pledges, secret handshakes, and field trips, and your kids look pretty smart in those uniforms.
And then it's February and your kids come home from scouts with a block of wood and tell you that you're suppose to help them make it into a car, and not just any car, a car that will win the derby.
So you nod and look excited and give the box to your husband and think "yes!" finally a project were dads get judged with the same unfairness with which moms get judged: Halloween costumes, clever goodie bags at the birthday party, the most desirable dessert at the pot luck, your kids appearance. No one ever thinks a kid is dirty and has messy hair because their dad is a slacker.
On the other hand, The Pinewood Derby is all about the dads.
The Dad's who were once cub scouts themselves have the first advantage because they've already seen which car designs are the sleekest. Then there's the weight and where to put the weight, and how to incorporate your son's Star Wars theme, or "make mine an alligator like Billy's dad did last year," (curses to Billy's dad). 
And finally knowing how much room to leave between the wheels and the ground so the car doesn't get stuck in the track.
The dads for the most part take their jobs seriously. While moms will stand aside at the pot luck and pretend they don't care if no one eats their green bean casserole, dads pay attention. They stand at the end of the track and take notes and confer with the other dads.
The derby dads have to be ready to problem solve on a moment's notice. This is another category that's usually dominated by moms. Who's got a kleenex, extra bottled water, a sweatshirt, or clean undies? The moms right? 
At the derby the dads stand ready, usually armed with pocket knives that look like they came from the prop closet of Survivor. 
I once saw a dad chisel down his son's car when it was over 5oz at weigh in. He whittled it symmetrically too, it wasn't just a last minute hack.
Another dad used his pocket knife to dig out a weight to bring his son's car under the weight limit and a third dad tried but alas failed to hollow out the bottom of his son's car so it would stop catching on the track. There was crying.
Like monsters on the edges of ancient maps - the sign above the church basement where the derby is to be held should read, "here there be crying."
I think the reason the Pinewood Derby is held in the basement of a church is so as to give the dads a more direct route with their prayers (Please God don't let my kid come in last), and also to remind people that there are worse things than having your kid be the one whose axel comes off his car midway down the track.
Worse things.
Like crucifixion.

Read my A-to-Z posts to see if you have what it takes to be the parent of four boys.
Find out more about the A-to-Z Challenge here.

Mistaken Identity

So we're watching Star Wars Episdoe II and Obi-Wan Kenobi goes off to investigate some planet that's not on the galactic map and while there goes along with it when he's mistaken for another jedi knight.
And my kids and I say -
"Hey! That's just like what happened when Aunt Sally thought Huck Finn was Tom Sawyer!"
Are there no new plot lines left?
Even in a galaxy far far away?

song: Mistaken Identity • artist: Kim Carnes

Those Sweet Words

Two great quotes from last night's read alouds:
"Sylvester was now as wide awake as a donkey that was a rock could possibly be." 
-Sylvester and the Magic Pebble

"The world is full enough of hurts and mischances without wars to multiply them."
-The Lord of the Ring Trilogy (The Return of the King)


song: Those Sweet Words • artist: Nora Jones

L is for Legos

Don't get me wrong, I love Legos. They're so open ended. 
Except when they're not.
Which is all the time because your kid (like mine) doesn't want a bucket of generic Lego bricks (notice there are only two of those options on the Lego website, it's like the Kentucky Fried Chicken of Legos, there's the bucket. And the big bucket).
No, you're kids wants the Battle of the Five Armies from the Lego Lord of the Rings collection. He wants it because a) it's cool and b) because it's $59.99 and he's savvy enough to know that you won't shell out $399.99 for the Lego Death Star from the Lego Star Wars collection.
But don't think you're done after Battle of the Five Armies. There are many more sets in the LOTR Lego collection and you have to buy a multitude of them in order to get all the characters in the fellowship. You didn't think Lego would be stupid enough to put all eight of the main characters in one set did you? Just like Peter Jackson isn't stupid enough to shoot his whole Hobbit wad in just one movie.
Then there's Gandalf the Gray and Gandalf the white. You'll need to have both. And the Lady of the Lake, don't forget your token female Tolkien character. 
You'll know you've reached the bottom of the parenting barrel when you find yourself sifting through the dusty contents of your vacuum clean bag looking for Gimli's sword.
All of these Lego sets are different and must be kept separate from each other if you want your son or daughter to be able to make the tower of Orthanc or Hagrid's hut more than once. Kinda makes gluing the darn things together, like the villain in the Lego movie wanted to do, look pretty appealing.
This means you'll need a special Lego room built on to your house to store your Lego collection when once families just needed a big plastic bin and one of those special tables with the green nubby tops.
Designated Lego rooms will probably be the next big thing in home design, forget appliance-laden kitchens, swank laundry rooms and bathrooms larger than the three-bedroom ranch I grew up in. 
Despite the differences in the individual kits one universal truth remains: they all hurt like hell when you step on them in bare feet at midnight on your way to the bathroom.

 Read my A-to-Z posts to see if you have what it takes to be the parent of four boys.

Find out more about the A-to-Z Challenge here.

things my kids have been obsessed with (a list poem)

their fists

the mobile above their changing table

the planets 

the Titanic

volcanos

Moby Dick

gorillas

Britan

Rubick's Cube

the American Revolution

WWI

India

Star Wars

Harry Potter

pi

the Greek gods

beary and tigery
cowboys

Knowing Me Knowing You

Let's get this straight. I am only doing this because Kevin asked. Do not start sending me chain e-mails for recipes or tagging me for 25 questions on Facebook because I will continue to blatantly ignore those requests.
I have been tagged by daddy blogger Kevin at Who Woulda Thought?   to participate in this chain blog ice-breaker. It's like orientation week at college - or spin the bottle - kinda - or maybe not - I wouldn't know.
Anyway there are some rules and some directions. The challenge for me has been coming up with a whole 11 blogs to tag. I should follow more blogs, I know, but I should also read book II of the Hunger Games, finish Zen Mind Beginner Mind, and practice my isolations (see fact #3).
According to Kevin, you must post these rules so here goes:
Each per­son must post 11 things about them­selves on their blog. Answer the ques­tions the tag­ger set for you in their post and cre­ate 11 new ques­tions for the peo­ple you tag to answer. You have to choose 11 peo­ple to tag and link them on the post. Go to their page and tell them you have linked him or her. No tag backs and you legit­i­mately have to tag 11 people.

Eleven facts about me:
1. I do not like balloons or Disneyland.
2. I have very cold hands. All my life people who have shaken hands with me have commented on this and said "cold hands warm heart." I do not feel like have a particularly warm heart.
3. I attend bellydance class.
4. I've love having lived on Cape Cod my whole life but really don't like those who pride themselves on never going over the bridge.
5. I have a degree in graphic design and a soft spot for dads who blog.
6. If you idle your car in front of me for more than 20 seconds you should know that although I won't say anything (unless you are my husband), I am seriously cringing on the inside.
7. I underline words I don't know in books I'm reading and yes - look them up later.
8. I put my cat on a leash (see yesterday's post).
9. I think everyone's life needs more art.
10. I think that attending a women's college and then producing four male offspring is the ultimate irony.
11. I hate talking on the telephone.

Eleven answers to eleven questions from Kevin: 
1.    Which movie best describes your life? I cannot imagine anyone sitting through a two-hour movie that would describe my life. What's that one with Michael Keaton as the stay-at-home dad? Maybe it would be that one. I have, on many occasions likened my life to various Seinfeld episodes. My favorite Seinfeld quote that describes my life would be the Newman postal rant: "Because the mail never stops. It just keeps coming and coming and coming. There's never a letup, it's relentless. Every day it piles up more and more, and you gotta get it out, but the more you get out, the more keeps coming in! And then the bar code reader breaks! And then it's Publisher's Clearinghouse Day…!" 
2.    What is your favorite comic strip? Bloom County.
3.    Who or what is your favorite Star Wars character? You've kind of got me here. I only have three movies to choose from - and only one that I've seen in the past 15 years. Luckily it was just last weekend that H and I watched it. Definitely Chewbacca. He reminds me of my cat. Which I keep on a leash. Did I mention that?
4.    What song can you listen to over and over and over? Warren Zevon's Mr Bad Example
5.    Are your farts (A) loud, (B) silent but deadly or (C) in between? B. I blame them on whichever kid is closest to me.
6.    Who is your favorite stand up comic? George Carlin.
7.    If you were stranded in the desert and your wagon lost a wheel, how many pancakes would it take to cover a dog house? Didn't this happen in the book "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs?" I remember reading it to my kids.
8.    Are you allergic to anything? Disneyland
9.    What is your ideal vehicle? Ideally I would take public transportation everywhere. Or rely on my own two feet. One of those bicycle richshaws might be nice.
10.    Would you put one of those ridiculous stick figure families on your ideal vehicle? Heck no. I was just making fun of those the other day. I saw one with ten stick-figure children on a car that was way too small for such a large family of stick figures. I hoped they were being ironic.  
11.    If we were to look in your browser history what would we find? That I obsessively check blog hits via site meter. I gotta get a life.

Eleven blogs tagged:
Because I'm not good about keeping up with other people's blogs, I had to cull most of these from the short list of folks who've ever commented on my blog and happen to have blogs themselves. Aren't you sorry you commented now?
1. Kathy at Giggling Truckers Wife
2. Priscilla @ Designs by Priscilla
3. Sean at Commuter Daddy
4. Naked Mommy
5. Lola @ Bear & Lion
6. Deb @ Kicking Corners
7. Four Under Four (plus two)
8. Larissa @ Papa is a Preacher
9. Elise @ A Touch of the Absurd
10. Tania @ Maui Shop Girl
11. Recovering Supermom

Eleven questions for them to answer:
1. Why did you start a blog?
2. What have you learned about yourself from blogging?
3. How do you blog and still get things done around your house?
4. Why is blogging better than Facebook?
5. What is the last book you read?
6. What is the last live performance you saw?
7. What is your favorite children's book?
8. What is your favorite typeface?
9. Would you ever put your cat on a leash?
10. Who would play you in the movie version of your life?
11. Love the tourists or can't wait for them to leave?

And of course:
The final word.

So Kevin, this has taken up my entire morning. I'm hoping you'll be over soon to help out. The kitty litter stinks, the laundry needs to be hung, there are blocks and Legos all over the living room, I gotta figure out what's for dinner and I was hoping to make fresh hummus so please bring some lemons and parsley

song: Knowing Me Knowing You • artist: Abba