Ah the internet. Does it bring us together or drive the wedge in further?
Does bemoaning the Mommy Wars help solve anything or does it just further emphasize that the Mommy Wars exist? It seems to me that nowhere do they exist better than on the internet.
Working moms who think stay at home moms are rich b*tches who play tennis all day and leave their kids with nannies. Stay at home moms who think working moms don't love their children and leave them in substandard daycares in order to pursue their careers. Yes some people think these things. Some people think all kinds of ridiculous and scary things. But do a majority of people really think these things?
The internet is a great resource for finding things out, but just about any crazy theory you have can be backed up by something you find on the internet.
Some people have observed that I use song titles in my blog posts and wonder how I am able to come up with so many titles. I say there's no shortage of song titles to fit any scenario. If my sons tried to flush the cat down the toilet I'm sure I could google "cat down the toilet" and +lyrics and come up with an appropriate song title.
I have a Facebook friend who posts often about the dangers of unsecured windows in apartment high-rises. Every week, sometimes twice a week, there are stories about children falling out of windows. It there a recent epidemic of kids falling out windows or has this always happened but now we can scan every newspaper in the country to find stories about it?
These two stories illustrate the point that you can find whatever you want to find on the internet. You want articles about lazy stay at home moms? You got 'em. You want stories about apathetic working mothers? There's plenty. It's so easy to leave careless comments on articles that go back and forth on the debate, the internet can't help but stir this pot. Working moms and stay at home moms have always existed and both camps question their choices - it's only recently that those of us who are only able to see things in black and white have become able to join the debate and comment on each and every story that comes along to either illustrate why our point of view is right, or justify why the other camp is wrong.
So when BlogHer runs a story titled "Working Moms Don't Choose For Their Babies to Die" I feel like this heartbreaking story is crushed under the weight of its title; a title I call sensationalism. The title is meant to stir up anger and outrage even if that's not the intention of the writer. Honestly, are there stay at home moms out there who really think this? The title would have you believe it's true and not only that - that it's the way lots stay at home mothers think. Yes, someone made an uncaring comment but this headline is fanning the flames.
Furthermore, BlogHer used the title in their weekly e-mail that's sent to subscribers - just in case you missed it the first time around. I know it was a terrible situation and an uncaring comment, but saying this has to stop while throwing the story out there to be commented on again - it just repeats the cycle.
Sometimes, the best way to stop something is to first stop ourselves.
song: Stop in the Name of Love • artist: The Supremes
2 hours ago