The Candy Man

I see that the ever opportunistic M&M Company is releasing its new M&M's White Chocolate Pirate Pearls to coincide with the release of the upcoming movie: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. I'm sure you don't need me to point it out - but I'm going to anyway - eating White Chocolate Pirate Pearl M&M's will not make you a pirate. Nor will it up your chances of meeting Johnny Depp; who would just think you a sucker for buying them, because that's the kind of cool anti-establishment type of guy his publicists want you to think he is.
Eating a bag of White Chocolate Pirate Pearls will merely fatten you personally, along with the pockets of those smart folks over at M&M's who are no doubt busy right now trying to work out their next product tie in.

song: The Candy Man • artist: Sammy Davis, Jr.