Wouldn't It be Nice?

Isn't it time we retired the milquetoast moniker "Isn't Falmouth Nice?"
Nice?
Is that the best our town leaders in the 1970s could come up with?
Nice?
Did no one have a thesaurus?
There's about 50 synonyms for nice on thesaurus.com, couldn't we update nice to something a little more colorful? I mean second-grade teachers require their eight-year-old students to use more descriptive adjectives.
The only thing worse than "Isn't Falmouth Nice?" would be adding a lame qualifier to it like "Isn't Falmouth Really Nice?"
What about some alliteration?
Isn't Falmouth Fabulous?
Isn't Falmouth Fantastic?
What's so great about being nice anyway?
Nice guys finish last.
Nice girls don't get asked out on second dates.
And as a motto it's such an easy target whenever two differing town factions are in disagreement say over wind turbines or the pledge of allegiance or the location of farmers market. Editorials and letters to the editor spring up like weeds with folks wringing their hands, and bemoaning us all to harken back to the good old days when Falmouth was so much nicer than it is now.
Isn't Falmouth Nice? isn't even a statement. It's a question. Maybe a rhetorical one but who knows? As far as we know, we don't even know IF falmouth IS nice. We're just waiting for someone to confirm our suspicions. We're that painfully shy girl at the junior high school dance who needs the acceptance of her peers in order to feel good about herself. Like the town's in need of a good dose of self-esteem.
As a town on the whole it looks as if we're insecure AND unimaginative.

song: Wouldn't It be Nice? • artist: the Beach Boys