Wednesday, April 15, 2015

L is for Legos

Don't get me wrong, I love Legos. They're so open ended. 
Except when they're not.
Which is all the time because your kid (like mine) doesn't want a bucket of generic Lego bricks (notice there are only two of those options on the Lego website, it's like the Kentucky Fried Chicken of Legos, there's the bucket. And the big bucket).
No, you're kids wants the Battle of the Five Armies from the Lego Lord of the Rings collection. He wants it because a) it's cool and b) because it's $59.99 and he's savvy enough to know that you won't shell out $399.99 for the Lego Death Star from the Lego Star Wars collection.
But don't think you're done after Battle of the Five Armies. There are many more sets in the LOTR Lego collection and you have to buy a multitude of them in order to get all the characters in the fellowship. You didn't think Lego would be stupid enough to put all eight of the main characters in one set did you? Just like Peter Jackson isn't stupid enough to shoot his whole Hobbit wad in just one movie.
Then there's Gandalf the Gray and Gandalf the white. You'll need to have both. And the Lady of the Lake, don't forget your token female Tolkien character. 
You'll know you've reached the bottom of the parenting barrel when you find yourself sifting through the dusty contents of your vacuum clean bag looking for Gimli's sword.
All of these Lego sets are different and must be kept separate from each other if you want your son or daughter to be able to make the tower of Orthanc or Hagrid's hut more than once. Kinda makes gluing the darn things together, like the villain in the Lego movie wanted to do, look pretty appealing.
This means you'll need a special Lego room built on to your house to store your Lego collection when once families just needed a big plastic bin and one of those special tables with the green nubby tops.
Designated Lego rooms will probably be the next big thing in home design, forget appliance-laden kitchens, swank laundry rooms and bathrooms larger than the three-bedroom ranch I grew up in. 
Despite the differences in the individual kits one universal truth remains: they all hurt like hell when you step on them in bare feet at midnight on your way to the bathroom.

 Read my A-to-Z posts to see if you have what it takes to be the parent of four boys.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Love it. Someday you too will have a large bin of legos you'll be able to sell on eBay for $350 and send them off with a kiss.