Love at the Five and Dime

Glue Stick
5" Blunt Tip Scissors
Crayons
Markers
Eraser
Tape
Antibacterial Hand Soap
Colored Pencils
Handheld Pencil Sharpener
These are some of the items on the suggested Kindergarten supply list handout helpfully provided by Staples. The list also gives the in-store locations of the suggested items. Antibacterial Hand Soap is on aisle four, same as tissues (another suggested item).
Soap and Kleenex? What kind of school supplies are these? Not only are these items not fun - we already own all this stuff. What's the point of sending your child to school if you can't go on a back to school shopping spree?
How can you go back to school without agonizing over what color three-ring binder to buy? And what about all those pocket folders? And dividers? Not to mention the 500 sheets of three-hole punched lined paper, a solar-powered calculator with trigonometric functions, a protractor, a leather-bound thesaurus, CliffsNotes for Julius Caesar, gym shorts, a box of No. 2 pencils, a French/English dictionary, Sharpies, and a mini clip book light (for doing homework in bed).
Now those are school supplies.

song: Love at the Five and Dime • artist: Nanci Griffith