Second Hand Rose

The jig is up. Last week I brought back, among other things, a pair of pajamas from the thrift shop for H and he said, "are these from the thrift shop?"

"Yes."

"That means someone wore them already."

"Yup."

I went on to explain my theory that just about everything we need already exists on the planet so there's no reason to go out and buy new stuff but I'm not sure if he bought it.

He did say this week that they were now his "favorite" pjs.

So guess who won the WMVY afternoon mind bender yesterday?

Me. That's who.

It's hardly fair though, the question was about Elvis. What kind of fan would I be if I didn't know the name of Elvis's mother?

For extra credit I know her middle name too.

song: Second Hand Rose • musical: Funny Girl

Shoot to Thrill

A 5-year-old boy and his parents received a written reprimand from a preschool because the boy built a gun out of LEGO.
According to the NRA the school administrators are taking the wrong approach to the situation. Instead of a reprimand, school personal should have given all the boy's fellow classmates and his teachers LEGO guns of their own.
Because after all, nothing stops a bad guy with a LEGO gun - except a good guy with a LEGO gun.

song: Shoot to Thrill • artist: AC/DC

Horchata

I love this song for its use of the word balaclava. So much more colorful than ski mask.
And everyone looks psychotic in one.

song: Horchata • artist: Vampire Weekend

Radio Song

Yes!

song: Radio Song • artist: R.E.M.

Golden State

WMVY has received pledges from 49 of the 50 states which confirms my belief that no one actually lives in North Dakota and that we only keep it in the Union in the off chance the Coen Brothers need it again as a back drop to one of their films.

song: Golden State • artist: Delta Spirit

The Streak

Today is Ray Stevens's birthday.
I thought this song was funny when I was 13.
I still think it's funny.

song: The Streak • artist: Ray Stevens

Pinch Me

song: Pinch Me • artist: Barenaked Ladies

You're No Good

Not only was there not enough snow to cancel school over, my sons informed me that the snow was no good for sledding, no good for building a snowman, and no good for making snowballs. 
Even our experiment with the snow, the sun, and the magnifying glass failed.

song: You're No Good • artist: Linda Ronstadt

Kiss on My List

In anticipation of the release of her book, Jamie Ayers is encouraging bloggers to post the 18 items (give or take) on their own personal bucket lists.
Generally speaking I'm against bucket lists. Adhering to one makes it seem like the point of life is to race from one bucket item to the next. 
There are folks who take up running, run their first 5K, and then sign up for a marathon. Why not just enjoy a jog?
There are 67 entries on the AMC's list of 4,000-foot mountains in New England. You can download an official application in order to become a member of the club. After you check off all your mountains you can buy yourself an official t-shirt and attend the club's awards dinner in April. But what about climbing the same mountain 67 times instead and getting to know it really well - finding something different to notice every time?
On the other hand, if people want to march though life armed with a checklist, who am I to stay it's not the way to go?
Besides maybe I'm being extreme. It's good to set goals. In fact I could probably use a few myself.
Eighteen eh?
1. Take my kids to Niagra Falls, Washington DC, The Grand Canyon, Mount Rushmore, Gettysburg and the Bay of Fundy.
2. Take my kids camping - in a tent.
3. Live in the moment.
4. Visit the Titanic Historical Society in Springfield.
5. Visit the Pacem in Terris Museum and the Storm King Art Center in New York.
6. Attend a Zen retreat.
7. Finish all the half-finished projects before I start new ones
8. Work on my Etsy site.
9. Get to one of my sister's art openings.
10. Take some classes at the Cotuit Center for the Arts
11. Make and can jams and dill beans, make ketchup.
12. Submit more articles for publication.
13. Write that historical fiction piece I've been thinking about.
14. Get those photo albums up to date.
15. Outwit the rabbits and moles and expand my garden.
16. Visit Sonoma County.
17. Visit National Parks out West. Yellowstone, Grand Teton, Arches. See giant redwoods.
18. Go to bed at 10:30 so I can read in bed for an hour.

song: Kiss on My List • artist: Hall and Oats

Don't Me Afraid of the Dark

Go figure. My kids are so afraid of the dark that I have to go upstairs with them to get their pjs out of their own rooms; but because there's a little snow on the ground they are all outside in the cold - in the dark jumping around in it.

song: Don't Me Afraid of the Dark • artist: The Robert Cray Band

Sweet Child O' Mine II

Looks like Dave Grundlund agrees!

song: Sweet Child O' Mine • artist: Guns N' Roses

Sweet Child O' Mine

Here's what I think about your right to bear arms. If you want to exercise your second amendment rights you should be issued a musket and a hunk of lead that you could then melt down and pour into a musket ball mold in order to create some nice musket balls for your gun. These you would be able to load and fire out of your musket at a rate of two, possibly three, per minute.
These are the arms your founding fathers used. This is what they had in mind when they said you had a right to bear arms.
If you want something more than what your founding fathers had - you'd better be prepared to have a thorough background check and to give a damn good reason.

song: Sweet Child O' Mine • artist: Guns N' Roses

ps. wash your hands after making those musket balls - lead's toxic.

Radio Nowhere

Surely everyone is wondering how the Save WMVY Radio campaign is going. 

The station has raised almost $500,000 out of the $600,000 it needs to fund itself for it's first year as a commercial free internet station.

Let me just say upfront I'm hugely for saving the station. It's depressing to listen to NPR all the time, and the folk station (despite what Gene says) kind of drones after a while.

This week MVY started playing sound clips from musicians who love the station. The clips all go something like "WMVY supported me, now it's your turn to support them." 

And this seems odd to me. Shouldn't the sound bite say "WMVY supported me - now I'm supporting them?" Are these musicians who supposedly got their start on MVY donating money to the station? I suspect they are but it isn't being mentioned. I suppose because people like me will assume that the Carly Simons, Bonnie Raitts, and Lyle Lovetts of the world will just take care of things and therefore we don't need to step up and pledge.

At any rate my money's with the station, literally and figuratively, and I hope whether you're an on-line listener, my neighbor down the street, or James Montgomery, yours is too.

song: Radio Nowhere • artist: Bruce Springsteen

Tea in the Sahara

I knew there was a good reason I was practicing Buddhism.
All the other denominations drink coffee (the Unitarians drink fair trade of course).
But Buddhists drink tea!

song: Tea in the Sahara • artist: The Police

Magic

It's disappointing when your biggest accomplishment of the day is finally sitting down (at 11:30 PM) to order the wand replica that your 10-year-old son swears he's going to pay you back for with his craft fair earnings.
It's even more disappointing when the wand he wants you to order is Voldemorts. He's the villain for goodness sake. Why doesn't C want Harry Potter's wand?
But you know what's funny about the whole business of replica wands? The catalogue includes wand from characters who barely made the cut in the movie - Dean Thomas for example (he was just a roommate!), Viktor Krum (Hermione's lame first love interest!) and Fenir Greyback (okay the name's familiar but I can't even place him). Also, while you might be interested in buying a replica of Luna Lovegod's wand, she being the Cindy Lauper of the Harry Potter series, who on earth would want to buy a replica of her dad Xenophillius's wand? The guy was in two scenes! Or Draco Malfoy's wand - he was a major character and all but he was a bad guy and not even the head bad guy.
Then there are some serious omissions. No wand for Neville Longbottom? He was one of my favorite characters! The everyman's wizard. And what about Hagrid's umbrella wand? Who would want one of those?

song: Magic • artist: Pilot

Stairway to Heaven

The twins are into counting. Really into counting. You might say they are in their counting phase. They especially like to count to 100 when we are in the car. But also they love to count staircase steps.

I know for instance that there are 12 steps making up the stairs in our house, 20 at the rec center, 12 going downstairs at the Woods Hole Community Hall, 7 leading in to the Woods Hole Library, and 14 leading from the first level of the library to the basement. 

I especially like how they'll count the steps repeatedly - just in case the number changes.

We were on our way to the library this afternoon and there was general chaos ensuing in the back of the car. As I turned onto Old Palmer Avenue Led Zepplin came on the classic rewind satellite radio station. 

Above the din I yelled, "listen up you guys. This is probably the most requested song of the last quarter of the 20th century."

"That's the 1900s," C corrects me.

"I know," I say.

"I know this song! Rolf Harris sings this," says C.

"This is the original," I correct.

After a few minutes I realize that entire back of the car is quiet Eerily quiet. It's as if everyone's in a trance. I check to see if they are all asleep but no one is. 

OMG, I realize. Stairway to Heaven is the key to calming down my twins.

Either that or they were dreaming about counting all those stairs.

song: Stairway to Heaven • artist: Led Zepplin (or, if you prefer, Rolf Harris)

ABC

So my parents bring the twins home tonight and they have this new activity book, it's turned to a page that's got the alphabet on it.
I say to N, "Take this in the living room and tell Papa what letter this is."
He says: "Papa already knows his letters.
Touché

song: ABC • artist: Jackson Five

If You Don't Know Me By Now (II)

People sometimes ask me about C's decision to wear shorts all the time - even in the winter.
Why does it do it?
Is he hot?
Is he cold?
What do his teachers say?
Is there a certain temperature he's shooting to go below?
I say, he's 10 years old. He hasn't written up a personal manifesto yet.
I don't know why he wears shorts all the time though I suspect it's his way of being an individual and he just likes to. Ditto for the long hair.
But people really want things to happen for a reason, and a logical reason at that. We are all more Dr. Spock than Captain Kirk.
I am reminded of the passage in The Little Prince where the Little Prince attempts to explain grown-ups and their ways.
"If I have told you these details about the asteroid, and made a note of its numbers for you, it is on account of the grown-ups and their ways. Grown-ups love figures. When you tell them that you have made a new friend, they never ask you any questions about essential matters. They never say to you, "What does his voice sound like? What games does he love best? Does he collect butterflies?" Instead, they demand: "How old is he? How many brothers has he? How much does he weigh? How much money does his father make?" Only from these figures do they think they have learned anything about him."

song: If You Don't Know Me By Now • artist: Simply Red

If You Don't Know Me By Now

Today's mail consists of appeal letters from EarthJustice, Defenders of Wildlife, ASPCA, and the Arbor Day Foundation; and three catalogues from companies whose mission is to make you look as if you are constantly either coming from or heading to yoga class.
Am feeling a bit stereotyped.

song: If You Don't Know Me By Now • artist: Simply Red

With or Without You

It must be warming up. There's a handful of fruit flies hovering over the compost.
So there's a Facebook group called "Christians Against Obama's ReElection." Isn't that just a long way of saying "Christian Sore Losers?" I must confess I heaved a big sigh and unfriended the former classmate who linked to this group on her Facebook account. And it's not because I only want to be friends with people like myself, I know that there's nothing really gained from only associating with people who think the same way you do, it's just that I don't have the energy for the negativity. Know what I mean?
Now if only there was a Facebook group I could join called "Housewives Against Fruit Flies Returning."

song: With or Without You • artist U2

I'm Winning

I just told S & N that I would give a prize in the morning to whichever one of them fell asleep first.
I am shamelessly out of ideas.

song: I'm Winning • artist: Santana

I Can Help

I asked H to bring in the recycle bins this morning and he kindly obliged.

He even asked if he could bring in the garbage can.

"Sure." I said. "Thanks for being such a helper."

Later on when Ken got home his first question was, "Why did you bring in the trash can before the garbage truck went by?"

song: I Can Help • artist: Billy Swan

World of Wonders

Yesterday I saw a Waldorf School of Cape Cod bumper sticker on the back of a van next to McCain/Palin, Scott Brown and Mitt stickers.
Maybe the world did end on Dec. 21

song: World of Wonders • artist: Bruce Cockburn

Sitting

I thought it was just my kids but the cat won't leave me alone in the bathroom either.
She's worse than the kids because she'll claw at the door when I lock her out. My children just cry.
My guess is she knows I'm sitting down in there and she figures there's a chance she can get in a few minutes of lap time.

song: Sitting • artist: Yusuf Islam (Cat Stevens)

Cold as Ice

I like keeping the car thermometer on Celsius, especial on days like today.
Why be 14 when you can be -11?

song: Cold as Ice • artist: Foreigner

Knock Three Times

People will tell you that kids go through stages. They will rattle off terms like "terrible twos" and "separation anxiety" and describe what the typical baby, toddler, and preschooler is like.
You will dutifully memorize these stages and watch for signs that your child has entered one.
Because of your vigilance in watching for the early signs of the oral fixation or bed wetting stage you might miss the sings of when your child enters the knock, knock joke stage. You might even think, because you haven't read about the knock, knock joke stage, that your child is unique in his or her sudden interest in knock knock jokes. You might be proud of this and say to friends, "Little Johnny is so into knock, knock jokes. It's the cutest thing." Parents of younger children will nod in agreement thinking that knock, knock jokes are a huge step beyond drool-on-your-fist stage which is where their kid is at. Parents of older children will just shudder and possibly convulse at the memory of when their own kids entered the dreaded knock, knock joke stage, which, in a twist of nature akin to the irony of 13-year-old girls being able to get pregnant, happens well over a year before children can actually read at which point they could tell a decent knock, knock joke. Also, despite loving the idea of the knock knock joke, preschoolers don't really understand the knock knock joke.
What's to understand you ask? Only that the knock, knock joke is supposed to be funny and when your four year old tells you a knock, knock joke it's funny that he's trying to tell you a knock, knock joke - but the joke he's telling isn't funny. Because he's making it up, and he doesn't get it, and he's bad at it. And so you end up with:
Him: Knock, knock
You: Who's there?
Him: Bird
You: Bird who?
Him: That one.
And because you are a good parent you will say, "good one!" thereby reaffirming in his mind his ability to tell bad knock, knock jokes. Which will lead to him telling more knock, knock jokes, probably when you are in the car and therefore unable to escape their relentless non-funniness. In this type of situation it's best, despite your Buddhist pledge to live in the moment, to zone the little bugger out. Think of the Queen. Think of what's for dinner tomorrow. Think of what the hell Peter Jackson was thinking when he decided to split The Hobbit into thirds. That man should be bound and gaged and made to sit in the car with a knock, knock joke-telling preschooler. Fifty Shades of Bilbo Baggins.
H even went through a stage when he told bad chicken jokes.
For example:
H: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: I don't know. Why?
H: Because the farmer was chasing him with a gun.
Ouch.
The knock, knock joke phase usually takes place around ages 4 to 5. It's followed by the create-your-own soup stage (be sure to have carrots and bullion cubes on hand) from ages 6 to 7, and the bathroom-talk stage which starts around age 6 - and - if you have sons - lasts until they turn 30.

song: Knock Three Times • artist: Tony Orlando and Dawn

You Decorated My Life

Over the holiday I rearranged the table in the kitchen and frankly it's fabulous.
It has totally changed my life.
So far the new year is off to a great start.

song: You Decorated My Life • artist: Kenny Rogers

It's Just Another New Year's Eve

 

Song: It's Just Another New Year's Eve • artist: Barry Manilow