Monday, February 25, 2013


Ever wonder how so many cobwebs got into the attic?
Let me tell you a little story.
Once upon a time there were two adorable, if not at times demanding, identical twin boys aged five.
One morning their mother, in an effort to both entertain and contain them, suggested they take a tubby. No tubbies had been taken for a while (the twins preferred showers) but the mother had dutifully cleaned the bathtub only the week previous so as to be ready for anything.
The tub was drawn, the proper temperature achieved and the requisite tubby toys deposited into the mix. The mother breathed a sigh of relief and went off to fix her breakfast (it was 10 AM and she'd been up since just after 7). Alas no sooner had she decided upon a cereal brand then a commotion ensued from the bathroom the likes of which she'd never heard and she was sure the neighbors were hearing equally as well as herself.
She flew to the bathroom and was told by her offspring (children of mighty vision and, thanks to the efforts of a strict Montessori preschool, to ability to count to 100) that there were not one, but four spiders, each in their own webs, above the tubby.
Leaping arachnids Batman! (not really, they were harvester spiders) what child can enjoy a tubby when spiders lurk in every corner of the bathroom?
So a plastic cup and a piece of cardboard were found and the first spider captured after a deft balancing act on the edge of the tubby by the mother who was happy that all her years of dance and figure skating had given her proper balance to perform acts of bravery such as spider retrieval.
But then the dilemma. What to do with the captive spider? Normally they are released outside the front door but that seemed out of the question in February as it would only be sentencing said spider (whose only crime was a bad housing decision) to death by freezing and said Mother had already relocated several spiders from other parts of the house to the living room houseplant collection. How many spiders could live together comfortably in ten spindly houseplants?
There was only one place left - the attic. Four trips were made up two flights of stairs, the family house cat watching with bemused interest from the comfort of the bed.
Afterwards the mother wondered how the reunion went.
spider 1: "Hey you guys! Don't I know you from the bathroom?"
spiders 2, 3 and 4: "Yup."
spider 1: How y'all like these new digs?
spider 2: "Well the air's less humid up here but it sure is dark."
spider 1: "The dark's kinda creepy isn't it?"
spider 2: "I know how we could make it even more creepy."

song: Trouble • artist: Cold Play


Audrey Humaciu said...

I am in tears from laughing so hard at the spider conversation.

Joanne said...

I know that instead of appreciating the fact that I saved their little spider lives, they'll string webs across the stairwell. Right at face level!