Friday, May 29, 2009

Little Lies

Dear Cake Mate,
Could you please explain why the word festive appears to the right of the brand name on your 50-count package of white baking cups? What's so festive about white baking cups? If these are festive, what do ordinary, non-festive baking cups look like?
Perhaps, being white, the baking cups might surround cupcakes bound for a wedding or first communion. Admittedly, either event would be considered a festive occasion, however, white baking cups on their own are not festive.
While the phrase "gourmet Asian food lover" on a direct mail piece might make consumers feel good about themselves. "Yes," we think, "I am a gourmet Asian food lover," even though we've tasted neither sushi nor kimchi. Perhaps you folks at Cake Mate were striving for a similar "feel good" association. "Yes, standing in my outdated kitchen wearing the same clothes I wore yesterday, making banana chocolate chip muffins for my kids' lunch boxes is a festive activity."
But I think you underestimate your customers. Any fool can see there's nothing festive about your white baking cups aside from the fact that they are easy to peel off one's cupcake or muffin. The only thing less festive than white baking cups is having to pick tiny torn bits of them off a baked good and knowing that there's no way to avoid eating pieces of it.
In which case one has to hope that they are both festive and unbleached.
Sincerely yours,

song: Little Lies • artist: Fleetwood Mac

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