What's black and white and red all over?
Why is it that time marches on but generation after generation of children still find the same corny jokes funny?
And speaking of funny, why can't Heinz create a ketchup bottle that doesn't make - you know - that noise.
I suppose there are people out there who would rather have a plastic ketchup bottle than to have to go at it with a butter knife. But those people don't have kids. Nothing ruins a manners-molding family dinner like a farting ketchup bottle.
And now for the bad part gentle reader, or the good part depending on how you view the glass.
I'm leaving tomorrow for a remote island in Maine for a week; an island without wireless.
I didn't know such places still existed. I wonder if they've heard about Michael Jackson yet. For a week, I get to commune with my kids all day long without the midnight respite of Seinfeld reruns and a cathartic blog post.
Thankfully the island has heard about the repeal of prohibition.
So as Uncle Wiggly might say, if the rabbit doesn't hop out into traffic on the busy interstate, and the mommy doesn't rip out all her rapidly graying hair, I'll be back next week with more adventure stories.
song: Island Girl • artist: Elton John
1 day ago