We Three Kings

Who can deny that local newspapers are indispensable to the survival of our civilization when they contain items such as the following brief in their police logs?
[January 23, 2009] A Trotting Park Road, Teaticket resident reported finding a three-foot tall statue of a Wise Man at 9:40AM. A police spokesman said she believed the statue was Melchior, the king bearing the gift of gold.
The detail here is crucial. Say, your three-foot tall Wise Man had been stolen. You might be in your car and on your way to Teaticket, were it not for the last line of the brief. See it just so happens that your missing magi was Balthasar, the guy who brought the frankincense.
Your Melchior is safely wrapped in a blue tarp and stored in the shed.

song: We Three Kings • artist: Rev. John Henry Hopkins